Apr 8
Que Sera Sera
Que Sera Sera , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

When our life changed forever

My husband retired after 40 years of very hard work at the end of Sept 2016.  We had big plans for buying a home on the water just not sure where, buying a new bigger boat and playing golf when we weren't fishing.  On January 3rd, he suffered a left side major ischemic stroke, I wasn't home at the time and my mother found him unresponsive in the floor.  So we don't know how long he was down...the result, complete right side deficit, global aphasia, apraxia.  Shortly after the stroke, he developed a large saddle pulmonary embolis and again almost died.  We were in ICU for 10 days and then back to acute rehab. 

He was released from acute rehab on March 8 and came home to me.  He has progressed slowly and we are beginning outpatient rehab this week.  Ou beiggest blessing is that he is till here with me.  He has a great attitude and is working hard.  Our biggest frustration is communication and I pray for that breakthrough soon. 

I hope this website will be a resource for me as we travel together. 
5 Comments
  • Steffy 1964
    Steffy 1964,
    I hope this website will be as big as blessing for you, as it is for me. I am sorry all that had to happen. You didn't get to follow your dreams. I saw a quote the other day, and it said " It's not like God us going to text you before your stroke!". That really resonated with me. It is so true. They happen in a instant, with no warning. I wish you and your husband the best. Like you said, at least you still have him. But communication can be a real challenge. I am 18 months post stroke, and I still have problems finding words. Hopefully it will be better for you two.
  • steedo
    steedo,
    Hi Steffy? and Hubby, Strokebloke from down under in Aus here. People on this site are probably bored with my posts here but I feel compelled to write to many new posters; In your husbands case it sounds like he had exactly the same stroke as I did now 15 months ago. Our circumstances were like yours also; I was making my last hard run in business to make sure my retirement would be on easy street. most of what we had tied up in deals, me working flat out counting the $returns to use in trips around the world, my retirement car was to be a Tesla! Then Kaboom! an eschemic stroke leaving me right side damaged , speech bad -not quite full blown aphasia and short term memory processing slowed, delayed by a few hours! I had to resign from all I was doing and much of the deals was in my head and relying on my skills to reach fruition. Those that took over blew up one big deal and ruined another! If you haven't seen Schitts creek on Netfix, do so and that's our Story! The positive is that our move to a cheaper simpler life in the countryside has been fantastic. My recovery has stunned all! to the point where I now have to convince new people I meet that haven't just injured my right foot but that I had a major Stroke 15 months ago. I say all this -yes to boast but to give hope. To go from trouble standing to urinate, to climbing on my roof to fix a leak is celebratory! NOW< how? First buy borrow or even steal a copy of "the Brains Way of Healing" by Norman Doige I was given it 3 days after my event by a friend in hospital. Then encourage your husband to try to do everything himself no matter how long the simplest of tasks take. In our move to our country shack in the country we decided to renovate which forced me to do much. The book describes how doing stuff forces the brain to build new pathways. Finally my theory that one goes through a fully blown grieving process for the loss of the self you once were; Anger, Guilt , Denial, Depression and Acceptance. Not necessarily in that order. My wife did the Denial bit for me! It annoyed me in the beginning that she refused to entertain that I wouldn't improve, She didn't molly coddle me and treated me as still having value and I thank her for that! -who wants to be a patient for ever. ? Its not often talked about but intimacy becomes an issue for a Stroke sufferer and is important and although it changes it should be considered as part of the whole suite of physical and emotional recovery. Stay positive I'd love to hear about the recovery steedos1@bigpond.com
  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie,
    Thank you so much for sharing this with us! I hope you find the site to be a warm, welcoming and educational place. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you become more comfortable with the Support Network. Best Katie
  • Apple
    Apple,
    I'm so sorry about what has happened. It must be awful but you're right at least he is still here with you! life is so precious! this site often provides really helpful tools and resources to help with conditions, so keep an eye out for that! I noticed that there is always something new so just checking. Plus, reading other's stories has been so inspiring and there is a lot of strength to be found from others!
  • QueSeraSera
    QueSeraSera,
    I tried to post this previously and not sure if it went through...if it did forgive the duplication. I am also uncertain if this is how I respond to a comment but hope this will be seen by Steedo. I do not get the opportunity to spend time on this site but am grateful to those that commented. It feels very lonely sometimes as a caregiver...I have friends and family but ultimately it becomes a matter of you and how you deal with it. Hi Steedo, thanks so much for sharing your story. I am certain I will get a copy of the book you suggested. It is so encouraging to hear about your success and progress. My husband has a great attitude and is working hard. I have my ups and downs. Our biggest challenge is communication, it is like a game of charades when Johnny tries to talk with me. Right now most of his voluntary speech is jibberish. I pray every day for a breakthrough. Thanks again for sharing...
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