thought i was invincible , too busy raising kids, working,and doing it all
I had developed high blood pressure yrs ago. life hasnt been easy. divorce, raised the kids on my own, being pulled in every direction like most everyone does. i knew raising the 3 kids on my own would take a good paycheck so what did I do... I learnt to be a welder for the dept. of defense. stayed there till base closure... unemployment.... and back to a good job. I pulled two jobs at a time moved the kids where i could manage things. landed a better job. working for a chemical company. ive been here 19.6 yrs now. in Nov. 2016 my long time family doctor retired I had to find a new one. a friend suggested a doctor and I jumped at the chance to start with a newer physician. I told him how i had been feeling I was never a person to open up but the flood gates roared. It was when i told him there was a pain in my left arm about the size of a quater that his eyebrow raised. he said he wanted me to get a stress test and see where it went...i said great! he said if all was ok id leave go home and see him for results... he said if a cardiologist came in...well! day of the test I was ready!!! i waaas taking it on like a bull rider. we started the test.... i made it thru the first level with sweat coming down my forehead.... 30 sec. into the second level i tured to the nurse and said i cant do anymore. I laid down on the gurney and the echo was showing flashing red lights all over the place. "in came the cardiologist" !! oh darn!! he said he wanted to see me in his office that day. I had blockages in my heart, he wanted me in the hospital the next day for stents. I said ok and showed up with my daughter...... in the middle of the preceedure I heard him say "oh oh".... i looked and said no no oh oh;s!!! i was now waiting on an ambulance to take me over to the bigger hospital to the intensive care unit. I spent the next week getting prepped for open heart surgery. I had no place on my body that didnt have a bruise... my blood pressure was now very low getting ready for surgery... in all actuallity... i never felt better.I was relaxed no stress....and you cant beat getting waited on! ...I had a triple by pass and stent put in my coratid artery. there was still one that was 50% blocked...but the three they did were 90,80,75 % blocked.
I went home woith my wordl spinning around me..."what just happened" how did I get to that point...Im supposed to be stronger than that... Im supposed to make sure everyone else is ok and here my kids were now taking care of me. I felt guilty....useless and a bunch of other things.
I went back to my doctor and he said "im so sorry!! he said when he heard about all that I went thru he said he thought I was going to hate him.. I said no I o we my life to you ...you listened to me and you didnt turn and ear. Im here becasue you did your job.
now its 2.3 yrs later... and im feeling the same things againl. nausua...short of breath...hurting from head to toe... light headed... ect ect.... im not going in for more test the middle of this month. I tell yself im good and im fine...but even I know there are more changes in my life I need to achieve.
