Apr 14
AM1972
AM1972 , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

Overwhelmed

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I'm a 48 yr old single mom of 3 teens. I had a heart attack on Feb 5, 2021. I eat very healthy and exercise everyday, I weigh 105lbs. I take very good care of myself. Never smoked or did drugs. I was brushing my teeth when a weird pain occurred under my collar ****. I laid down thinking it would pass. My daughter saw my bathroom light on and came into my room. She thought I was having one of my monthly migraines. I told her it may be a heart attack. She got out her phone and went over the symptoms with me. I tried to get up but couldn't breath. I asked her to call her Aunt. I didn't want an ambulance because I didn't want her last memory of me to be taken away in an ambulance. 

When I got to the hospital they did an EKG then had me wait in the waiting room. Then took me back again for blood pressure and said they were admitting me. Then gave me morphine. They did blood work and an ultrasound of my heart. The cardiologist found a spot and said they were going to do a heart cauterization. They admitted me to a room then 6 hours later. They put in two stents. No damage to my heart. Blood work showed high cholesterol which runs in my family. I have maintained my high cholesterol all my life since my mom and grandmother have it. I'm assuming that since I'm perimenopausal it's harder to maintain my cholesterol.  

I haven't been myself since I got home. I prepared my will, printed out current pictures for the kids, wrote letters to the kids and ex husband. Cleaned out the basement, worked on boxes for the kids and picked out my funeral dress.

I know it could have been worse however I can't seem to get out of this funk. My cholestrol numbers as of today came back good. I've been only eating salads, oatmeal, fruit, yogurt and exercising everyday some days 2 times a day. What is everyone doing to help them get through this?  

3 Comments
  • JeffBoyce
    JeffBoyce,

    So sorry you went through that and you are experiencing have totally normal emotions - you experienced a major trauma. 
     

    But first of all you look great! And you are alive with no damage. The blockage is gone and you will heal. It's hard at first but try to count your blessings. Each day and week it will get better. Go to cardiac rehab it will help with confidence. They will push you and you will know exactly how to exercise effectively. For me faith is the key. But - you have survived and you will thrive. Take it easy go slow and throw away the funeral dress. 

  • jerzeycate
    jerzeycate,
    So sorry to hear this has been happening in your life.
    You have joined an Exclusive Club. The nitiation is rough. The dues quite expensive. But, as the commercial says, "Membership has it's rewards."
     
    What you are feeling and doing is natural for those who have been suddenly faced with their own mortality.
    Unfortunately the main thing that will help is time. And, unfortunately, time takes time.
    Dealing with cardiac diseases and disorders is usually a Marathon, not a Sprint.
     
    I know that every day I make decisions and take actions that directly impact both the length and quality of my life. Am I happy that I know this. Nope. But, believe it or not, it has resulted in changes that have greatly improved the quality of my life. We tend to have different priorities once we truly understand that none of us is promised a tomorrow.
     
    The changes you've made are wonderful and probably have helped in getting your cholesterol level down. Changing of diet, increasing activity, and decreasing stress are all liifestyle changes that are part of recovery for cardiac patients. Decreasing salt/sodium/sugar intake and increasing water intake (as long as your physician okays this) are also important. 
     
    Dealing with the emotional stuff happpened, for me, through a combination of Journaling and joining a FB support group for cardiac patients where I had 2/7 access to people who had been through similar experiences. I found the group while I was still in ICU and it remains an important part of my life. There are some great Women's Groups, if you prefer that type of forum. Most are Closed groups which means that only members can see/read/respond to your posts. this makes it a good place to put your fears on the table without unnerving family or friends.
     
    The fact there was no permanent damage to your heart is wonderful. I have found that when we take care of our heart, it is quite loyal and takes care of us. And, even if a problem develops the body has an amazing curative capacity.
    It sounds like, for now, you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. Right now that's the most important thing you can do.
     
    Take care of yourself. There is no one better equipped for the job. At this phase you must put yourself first.

    Remember

    You are strong.
    You are powerful. 
    There are no limits to what you can overcome. 
    What you can live through. 
    What you can suffer through. 
    What you can win over. 

    You are forceful.
    You are Fierce.
    You are tough.
    You are stronger than you think
    You are indestructible. 
    You are a champion in this life. 

    You play on a very strong team. 
    We are your teammates. 
    Together we are unbeatable. 
    Together We are Brave Enough...

    It's A Great Day To Be Alive...

     

     

  • AM1972
    AM1972,

    Thank you for the advice and encouragement. I'm very Blessed to have no damage and still here for my children. I thank God every morning for opening my eyes and thank him every night for a good day even if it wasn't. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have been though a lot over the years and know that this will only make me stronger and a better person, I just have to get over this little glitch. Which I know I will in time. Thank you again for the advice and encouragement.

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