Not Another Heart Attack!!
This whole writing thing is new to me and I apologize ahead of time for how long this might get!! They say writing can be theraputic, so I'm going to give it a shot.
My first heart attack happened on January 29th, 2020. I had actually been having signs that my heart wasn't right for about 18 months prior. Yes...18 months!! I went to an urgent care with chest pain in October 2018 to which they told me all my tests for heart issues were negative. I went to many doctors over the next year, but no one could figure out what the problem was. So very frustrating and embarrassing if I'm honest. I got to the point that I just tried to hide and ignore my pain thinking maybe it was just in my head. It finally got to the point that walking very short distances would cause a great deal of chest pain and shortness of breath. I finally went back to my clinic on 1/29/20 and they told me I was having a heart attack and sent me by ambulance to the hospital with my poor husband following behind us not knowing if I would survive. I ended up having a blockage of 99% in my LAD. They put in 4 stents and released me the next day. Started rehab and thought everything was going well. Then COVID-19 hit and my job as a Logistics Coordinator for an organization the faciliates **** Marrow transplants for patients all of the world literally blew up! Was working round the clock to help get the transport of life saving products to patient in need. To say my stress level was high would be an understatement. But I thought my heart could handle it with my new stents and everything. I was wrong! On April 10th, I experienced my second heart attack. Another ambulance ride to the hospital and another angiogram revealed that my stents from January had failed and I was now looking at open heart bypass surgery. This was quite shocking as a 52 year old. How could this be happening again?! And now during COVID?! My hospital stay was a nightmare without my family/friends being allowed to visit and all the FEAR. Fear of being alone, fear of contracting COVID and fear of not surviving open heart surgery. The nurses and doctors did the best they could, but stayed out of patient's rooms as much as possible. And since I had blood thinner medication on board they wanted to wait 4 days before doing my surgery! 4 longest days of my entire life. So on April, 16th, 2020 I had quadruaple by-pass surgery. The surgery went well, but recovery was rough. So much pain, fear and loneliness that I truly wanted to give up. My husband and daughter at home were doing the best they could to help encourage me and give me the strength virtually to get well enough to be able to come home. They were my rocks during this time. Made it home on April 21st and the real recovery started. The pain was imense, but it's the emotional part that was the worst (and still is). I find myself so fearful and angry all the time. Snapping at my poor husband and crying for no real reasons. I am now 12 weeks post surgery and really hoping that things settle down soon?!! I am currently looking for a counselor for myself and my husband. Any other suggestions?