May 14
kathykear , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

New here and I have some important questions

I have a close friend who had a massive stroke 11 years ago.  She has some brain damage and limited use of her hands and legs.  She also has signficant speech impediments.  Her parents moved her to Arizona to live close to them. She has been in an senior nursing home for the last decade plus.  I have stayed in close touch with her this whole time. I live in Northern California.  She has a very limited engaged life and it greatly concerns me.  I want to start looking into moving her to California.   I know this is a huge undertaking and I have so very much to research.  I would need of course to get her family's approval ( and become her Power of Attorney).   Has anyone on this forum been through anything similiar?    The other question I have is-  does anyone have a loved one that is in their middle age-  ( Elaine is 46)  who suffered permanent body and brain damage and if so- what did you do to care for your loved one? Where do they live?   Is there any other options besides a senior nursing home??  That is my big question.  She is still very much present,  engaged, able to communicate, and she wants a more viable life.   I want to see if it is possible to give her this.  I do not want her to spendf the rest of her life in this home with people so much older than her that are nearing the end of their lives, because she is not!   Please help.  I am just starting my research and would welcome any insights.   Thank you so much, kathy
  • AHAASAKatie
    Good Morning, I wanted to share a few resources with you as a starting point. While there is a lot to learn, we are here to help you on the journey. Best Katie
  • InUilive
    Hi Kathy, I just read your post at least twice. It made me cry not just because of the situation and what has happened to your dear friend. It made me cry because of the love and concern you have for your friend even after all that time of separation and that you stayed in touch with her when you could have just let her go to move on with your own life. And now you want to bring her back to your area and get whatever help you can to help her, not to just exist but to live and maybe most likely even improve her conditions by having the friendship, care and stimulation you want and can give to her and maybe include other caring people of her age group. All this because you have this love for your friend. You are an amazing person to be this caring for her like this. I will be praying for you both that it can happen but even if it can't know that you are helping her by staying close and all your communication of love to her. "No greater love has a man / woman, than that he will lay down his life for his friend". When people are willing to do these kinds of things for their family and or friends they are laying down their lives also, maybe not by physical death, but by their sacrifices of giving of their lives, time, effort, money, self interest and all those things come from love and compassion. May God bless you for your concerns and desire to help your dear friend Elaine. Take care.
  • shellt
    My first wife's mother had a stroke that semi disabled her at about this age. It took several years of constant rffort but she recovered almost completely. Herdaughter ( my wife) never gave up. She waked her mother daily. The neighbours thought she was mean. But the woman recovered almost all her faculties. She coould never life alone but she had a good life. Be paient and keep up the GREAT. YOu are a great person. GOD will bless you for your effort. NEVER give up on anyone who seeks to LIVE> Donald Sheldon
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