My Stroke
I was 48, in the early morning hours of January 6, 2018. I woke up after falling asleep on the couch, and could not sit up. My right arm, shoulder, and hand was numb. It felt like everything was distorted, the room was spinning. My head hurt so bad. I felt like I was going to be sick. I couldn't stand , so I crawled to the restroom and sat on the floor by the tub, and leaned up against the wall. I was feeling confused, I was clammy,,the light was so dim. I had my cell, and tried to call 911, but it seemed like it took me forever to dial. I couldn't remember the lock code. I couldn't dial the right #'s. I finally got through, tried giving the operator my address, but kept getting the #s all mixed up. I had no idea what was happening to me. He told me to get to my front door and unlock it. I crawled back to the living room , unlocked the door, and just laid on the carpet, my breathing felt very faint, and I just waited until I heard them coming. I remember seeing boots everywhere, they were asking me questions, taking my vitals, and for the first time since this started, I felt safe. The next thing I remember, is having a CT scan and an MRI, and them telling me I had suffered a stroke. The official diagnosis: Cerebral Infarction due to embolism of left vertebral artery. The pain in my head was severe , and the dizziness wouldn't stop, and all I wanted to do was sleep. I had no strength. To go to the restroom, I had to use a walker, and my daughter had to help me into the shower. I'm a grown woman! This felt humiliating, I felt so hurt and broken inside. After about 6 days, I was released to go home. I had home rehab therapy, for about a month, therapists, and a nurse. And then I was alone. My family had their own lives to get back to. They had to work and take care of kids. I was confused as to how I'd move forward now. I had a list of medications, that I didn't know anything about, or what they were for. What do I do next? I did not expect to feel so weak, sometimes extreme depression, not wanting to see anyone or talk to anyone. I didnt feel like ME anymore. I didn't want to be a burden. Nobody to lean on, comfort me, or make me feel safe. I read a lot about my condition, trying to gain knowledge about what happened to me. Recovery is a long process, you cant just fix it. Life comes to a screatching halt. Looking back , the last 6 months of 2017 , I didn't feel right, I knew something was going on. My blood pressure was way up, as was my stress level. I tried different supplements, and my Dr. did lab work, checked my hormones, and had me on meds for hypertension. 2018 though, has been the most difficult year of my life. I am blessed to be able to still walk, and talk. Everything still works. It could have been so much worse. I realize how blessed I am to be here, and thank God every day to be alive. I'm so thankful to my family, and the medical personnel . I have occasional cognitive issues, concentration, thinking of the right words are an issue. I have numbness and tingling in my right hand , and constant pain in my fingertips. My strength is not what it used to be. 10 months since my stroke, and I'm taking life day by day. My neurologist is sure the high blood pressure, and possible Sleep Apnea are what caused this. A heart monitor I wore for 30 days was normal. I'm the first to say, my exercise and diet are not on point, but I try. I have a long way to go still. There are many things I want to do, much to learn. I want to make the rest of my time meaningful. My kids, my parents , and my granddaughters keep me going . Love fills my heart. There are so many people and friends that make me want to be better, do better, and I love them all so much. I dont know what my future holds, but I'm a strong soul....I'll never give up. I'm a survivor ❤❤
Julie Vigil/Salt Lake City, Utah
