Aug 13
GenBritt
GenBritt , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

loosing everything

The thing that stood out when Imet my husband 28 years ago was his absolute dedication to fitness. No matter how tempting a distraction I could offer he would not miss or reschedule his 2 hour workout routine. He always said Iwould not want to know him if he didn;t exersize. He said he could manage stress and release negative feelings by lifting weights.

From 1985 to 2004 the man I knew continued his healthy practice. Evenwhen called to active duty after 9-11 he kept up and increased his workouts. Coming home after 3 years of active duty was anything but good for him. His civillian employer was teetering on closing in large part due to his absense. My business had sufferred from fall out of 9-11 dropping myincome and eventually leading to alawsuitwith my business partner. Our home was mortgaged beyond what we could afford. In 2007 my business was gone in 2008 Kens employer shut its doors and in 2009 our home was sold at the couthouse steps even though we were told our application for ___ was in process. Any one  of these events are extemely stressfull to anyone. We had all of them plus one more. My huband had  PTSD that was undiagnosed, the symptoms were the hardest to live with. Waking nightmares (flashbacks) Anger, Rage, Constant vigilance and lost periods of time he couldnot account for.

The thing that would have helped him most would have been working out. He stopped. At first hecould not fit it in timewise, then we could not afford the gym membership. 12 years have gone by now and he longs to exersize but can not muster the will to do it. I have learned alot about PTSD in this time and one thing  I can see is his guilt for living when someone in his outfit died. It couldhave been him. All pleasure was denied by him. Work and TV filled his days. He still had good muscletone and strength that kept him in pretty good condion. He took a part-time job at a gas station to make extra money but morethan that got him out and meeting people. He ran circles around the 20 yearolds running from the pump to the carwash where he gave 100% of his energy making the customers happy. He did this for a year never missing a day until the first part of May.                            He was having trouble sleeping , he could not get enough air. He thought it was allergies so we went to the doctor. He began treating him for a possiblebronchial infection and allergies. He was on enhalers, steroids and cipro. He did not get better,He colud not rest easy because he felt like he was drowning.This went on for a month. He thoughtit was walking pnemonia and asked the doctor to exray his chest. At the same he did a blood test for diabetes, a test we asked for because of family history.

The results of these were unexpected and lifechanging.  Congestive Heart Failure and Diabetes. He was given Lasix and metform__ and told to comeback in 3 weeks. TheLasix helped but was hard to take because he worked so hard and could not break to use the bathroom. so he was taken off of it and given lysenapro. The small improvement was short lived and the symptoms returned. An ear infection made life unbarable so one night went to emergency at the hospital. The triage nurse said they could not treat him for known HF. The staff took care of his ear and gave us practical information about HF that no one had done so far.  

A few days ago an echocardiogram was done. The results we far worse than anyone expected . His heart has a reduced ejection fraction that has him at thelowest level  around 15%. He was put back on lasix after being toldthat he might be looking at a heart transplant. Still alone and terrified. He was referred to a cardioligist and given an appointment 10 weeks from now. What do we do in the mean time. When isit sobad that I take him to emergency? Will his heart just stop? will he die suddenly? What can be done to help him sleep? He cannot work at all. He cannot sleep more than 45 minutes and of that he his moaning and trying to get more air.  

 
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