Oct 17
Danybegood , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

I'm so depressed

I've tried to write my story twice before and lost it both times.  Must not have been telling It right those times.  

I thought I was healthy, as I could be I guess.  But then I had my heart attack on Sept. 18.  I went to urgent care for painful GERD, and Dr. there said I should go to ER because he couldn't do the right tests.  So I did, and lo and behold I was having a heart attack .  My right coronary artery was 99 percent plugged.  They whisked me off to the cath lab and put in a stent.  I had another one 90 percent plugged but it was too small and made a sharp turn.  So I still have that one.  I'm taking nitrates twice a day,  2.kinds of BP meds, beta blockers, Protonix for GERD and aspirin as well as a slew of other drugs for various other problems.

But I'm still depressed, reasons?? Well, my ex did something awful to me and I'm still trying to figure out why since he was supposed to love me.  Another reason, I have no friends, nada, zero, zip.  I'm very shy.  However, I was in our hospital waiting room passing time when 2 other people started a conversation.  Well, I started joining their conversation without being invited.  I realized what I had just done and I was so embarrassed.  I guess I'm my own best friend. %uD83D%uDE06. I just hope I don't start talking to myself.  Hey guys, how do you make friends?
  • ModeratorJeff
    ModeratorJeff ,
    Sorry to hear that you are dealing with a difficult time but I have to say I'm impressed that you already know what you need. Connection with others. Making friends is not difficult if you are willing to take the risk of just saying hello to someone else. Jumping into others conversations like you did can be a constructive way to cross bridges and form new relationships. Since we have to be active to help our heart conditions talking to folks at the gym, wherever you workout, is a great starting place too. If you have any church affiliations that is also a wonderful resource for human connection that can be rewarding. Another thing you could possibly do, depending on where you live and the resources available would be to look for local zine style papers with calendars of events. I live in a larger Midwestern town with a lot going on so it's easier for me to go to these community listing and pick and choose what to do. (When in doubt on where to start there I would either call a local library or ask a younger person.) Often times I'll rustle up a group of local Facebook contacts and just go out to a cheap movie together. These are not best friends but acquaintances mostly. But at the end of the night we know each other a little better and we've, generally, had a good time. Don't be afraid to reach out, make mistakes, "act a fool" and so on... just be yourself. Have fun and that was a great post.
  • BrendaPearl
    I do not know your faith, but you have a friend in Jesus. I think you should put your energy in your healing and a friendship will emerge. God bless and I wish youh happiness
  • leesampson
    Don't get depressed I know it's hard I battle it all the time. I had 3 stents recently and I know the hopeless feelings. Good diet, take your meds and cardiac rehab. Im on my way to cardiac rehab now. Communicate with all of us it has helped me.
  • Steelerbabe
    It sounds like you will be a wonderful friend. Do not feel embarrassed because you joined in a conversation of two other people. I have experienced that many times when it was my husband that was the patient. It happens during stressful times. If you are going to therapy and/or a support group, I will bet there will be a conversation that you will join in and you will be welcomed to do so. In our circumstances, we want to share experiences. Just be yourself. There is a possibility that you will come in contact with someone that needs a friend. I am sorry that your ex has hurt you. I would say it is time to get rid of that person, as too much of your energy will be used. Not worth it!!!!! Just remember to be yourself and show interest in the other person.
  • Carilee49
    I'm so sorry for all you're dealing with. But I'm sitting here in Oregon all alone as well. Feel free to consider me a friend. I'm 66 and just now joined this group. But my thoughts and prayers are with you. Together - neither one of us is alone! Lol
  • steve61
    Hi my is Steve. I am very sorry to hear what happen to you . If you like I would like to be your friend. I have CHF. I know what it's to get depressed I Have severe depression but I take a drug every day for it and it works. You every feel talking drop me line. Have a great day.
  • Danybegood
    You guys are great. Thanks for the encouragement and kind words. I would.be.honored to consider you all friends!
  • edwcare
    As a caregiver of a multiple stroke and traumatic concussion injury, we are nearly home-bound. In the emergency rooms of the hospitals twice now I have felt so alone. During tPA stroke treatment, I sat at the edge of the room. One of the doctors brought me paper towels into which I buried my face in tears. I was never more alone. After several months, we have just a very few friends who check in on us, and that has made all of the difference. Once when we were coming out of the neurologist office, a friend saw us and began talking. He didn't ask about why we were there. I have found most people I know that way. I am truly sorry that you feel so alone. I wish I could change things for all of us for the better.
  • Danybegood
    edwcare. Thank you for the kind words. I knew there were people out there that needed care and kindness, I am proven right. When I was still working I dreamed of my retirement, and I was going to volunteer. There are so many places and causes that need it, so many places I could go. If I tried to.volunteer in my current state they would end up taking care of me. So, somehow or other I have to get better so I can fulfill my long ago dream. My best wishes and prayers for you always. I need to remember that even alone in a far away foxhole, none us is alone. God bless, Diane
  • Danybegood
    And this is the second time I've emailed myself. Bear with me folks. Pretty soon ill stop talking to myself. :)
dark overlay when lightbox active
dark overlay when lightbox active
dark overlay when lightbox active
dark overlay when lightbox active