Apr 14
westemm , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

I need hope!!

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In March my 68 year old wife suffered a Hemorhagic Stroke!  She spent 10 days in ICU and is currently in rehab.  The main impact has been to her left limbs.  She has no use of her left arm or hand and rehab is working on regaining use of her left leg...but she appears to not be responding well.  Additionally, she has excessive tremors in her right hand, making it difficult to feed herself, use the phone, etc.  With Covid-19 restrictions, we've had no physical contact while in rehab.  She led a very active lifestyle prior to the stroke and now is very discouraged by her current state.

I'm reaching out for hope from people who have lived through this type of event and those of caregivers!  I see videos and read stories that gave me hope but seeing her struggle through the room window every day and hearing it on the phone if painful and causing me to loose hope that this will get better for her.  I want only the best for her and know I need to remain positive and be a cheerleader for her, so I need your help to know it will improve.

  • CarolLee

    I am so sorry to hear about your wife's stroke. On top of that , having to deal with not visiting is extra difficult. One thing to remember is that it is very early in her recovery. It's hard to imagine but she has so much time for great progress. Remember she is a stroke survivor, not stroke victim. It's an important distinction. 

    One suggestion I have is to journal and document her recovery. When it seems proress is slowit is helpful to remember where she was. Every little step forward is a victory.

    As far as the phone usage with her tremors perhaps you get get the speech to text going. It works for texting and eother commands too. My husband holds his phone with his unaffected hand and says "shoot" and the camera takes a picture.

    Keep going one day at a time and accept help from others. That got me through my husband's initial recovery also.




  • AlyAHA

    I'm so sorry to hear what you and your wife have been going through. The added stress of not being able to physically be with each other must make it extremely difficult. There is a stroke caregiver section of this site, located here: https://supportnetwork.heart.org/connect-with-people-like-me/caregiver/caregiver-stroke/ Feel free to post again or browse other people's comments, as you may find relatable stories. We are all rooting for you both! 

  • demick98

    I am so sorry for your pain. I understand. I am 44 years old and 4 stents! I am scared and confused and no one understands around me

  • westemm

    Thank you for your response and encouragement. I just finished reading a book called My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor, Phd. The section that was the most helpful to me is titled What I needed the most. In it she listed 18 things that were important to her recovery. One that struck me states, "I needed people to love me - not for the person I had been, but for who I might become."

    I'm very proud of my wife! Her tolerance to pain and effort to become independent is remarkable!!!  She is due to come home in a couple of weeks, where we begin the next chapter in our ever changing life. I just hope I’m as prepared and strong as she is to go on this journey

  • Emmylou

    I am so sorry for what happened to your wife.  I too am a caregiver in this difficult time.  My husband had an ischemic stroke in January.  She is early in her recovery; I know she will get better.  Even if you can only visit her by window or limited phone, it is something!  It is also something to be said for you!  Hopefully restrictions will loosen and I hope that you will be able to have more contact with her.  Keep your chin up and remember you and she are not alone.  Thank you for posting your story.

  • susanlim

    My dear friend, I hear you and I honor the place from which your heart speaks, I haven't walked in your shoes nor your wifes ... keep researching and look for solutions, let me assure you there are always solutiions ...never give up ... you cant beat someone who never gives up... if i may suggest to you find neuro feedback with her doctors permission of course, it is a type of non invasive brain retraining .... I am currently doing this .... there is also a therapy called tms (transcranial magnetic stimulation ... which I have done as well to slow down some over active brain function and speed up under active function if i may,  look for a provider thst specializes in stroke recovery .... it may require you to travel with her to get help... butbe assured it is out there..

    i hope you will give your wife and to you my very best and i will hold her in a protective shield of light and remember tomorrow is a new day, 

    please look after yourself and know you will now be the one she looks to for comfort and answers ... say a prayer and ask for help, your guardian angel wants to help ....


    please reach out if you would like to talk more ... and keep looking for answers! research ... my warm wishes to you Susan Lim

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