May 29
Shanla
Shanla , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

I HAD SO MANY DOWNS, AND UPS; AND ONLY 60 YEARS YOUNG!

My heart attack was in August, 2007 ... two days before I was to drive my youngest to her first year of College.  I live in Illinois; the drive was to be to Baltimore, Maryland.  In a way, it was a blessing that, if it had to happen, that my heart attack did not happen while we were on the road.  However, my fears run deep because in 2000, I was diagnosed with an Autoimmune Disease ... Sarcoidosis.  It is now in remission, as of December, 2008 ... an awesome Christmas gift, it was.  But, the Sarcoidosis could be the reason that I had a heart attack, my doctors said.  And, they, also, attributed the Sarcoidosis to the massive stroke that I had in August 2004.  While treating me for this stroke; the doctors determined that I had had 3 previous strokes, before the massive one.  My life has been full of miracles ... one, I am still here, and two, I am still mobile.  With the exception, of a right droopy eye, and paralysis of my right forehead ... I still have full use of my limbs, my voice, and my other faculties.  I know that I was blessed; after reading, and hearing, other people's stories.  And, my story still has not ended.  In May 2014, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  On July 9, 2014, I had a right mastectomy.  Another blessing, I was told it was Stage One, and I did not have to have the Cocktail Chemotherapy, nor any Radiation.  I do have to take a Chemo Pill, everyday, for 5 years.  I was, also, told that I only have a 7 percent chance of it returning.  Why, EVERYDAY, EVERY MOMENT, I live in fear of something happening, again ... the return of the breast cancer, a heart attack, a stroke, or, even, the sarcoidosis returning!  There is NO peace, and just going on with life, as usual, anymore, for me.  My life is not normal, anymore.  EVERYDAY, I AM ALWAYS SCARED!  Will there be a tomorrow?  Now, just recently, I discovered new lumps, in my right arm pit.  So, I feel like I am sitting on a time bomb, again.  I am scheduled for an ultrasound, on my right armpit, and a mammogram of my remaining breast, June 2, 2016.  YES, I AM SCARED!  I AM STILL SCARED!  I AM ALWAYS SCARED!
  • janbeard1960
    janbeard1960,
    You have been through so much. I completely understand why you are scared every day. Prayers for peace. Jan
  • Samantha1018
    Samantha1018,
    Thank you for sharing your story and your experiences. Our prayers are with you and please remember that no matter how difficult things are, there is always hope and hope can be, and is, powerful.
  • connectcare
    connectcare,
    Shania, Thank you for sharing your honest fears. It has taken me two years to really get back to hope. I appreciate your honesty and that you are not denying or minimizing YOUR truths. I HOPE only the best for you going forward. I have learned to be content with the today I have, and not having future plans seems to be o.k. with me now. I hope this helps in some small way.
  • NE
    NE,
    Oh, wow! You really are blessed.. Now you have to know and remember that you are a child of God and that you will have trials like new lumps under arm pits.. However , this might just be a reminder of the blessings that you have .. Please remember that God loves you more than anyone and he wants good things for you.. Congratulations of your daughter going to college.. That right there is a huge blessing.. God be with you..
  • Virginia Marie
    Virginia Marie,
    Thank you for you honest and courageous story. I, too, have sarcoidosis and was diagnosed in 2007. I took medication for a couple of years and then it went into remission. This past February we had a virus that everyone in the house got, including me
  • GC
    GC,
    Shania, you are a strong person. Thank you for sharing. Ginny
  • 3Sevens
    3Sevens,
    How did your mammogram and ultrasound exam come out. It is a good thing that you exam and know your body and felt the lump and made an appoint to see your doctor right away.
  • Shanla
    Shanla,
    3Stevens ... Thanks for asking; however, I didn't have it ,yet. It is rescheduled for June 10, 2016. So, still nervous, here.
  • StrokeLight2B
    StrokeLight2B,
    Hi Shania, You have courage. You are n incredibly strong woman. Continue to be strong and honest and courageous. Try to focus on your present. Try to be intentional in the way you live your life and in the way you love others. Try to focus on others and what you are able to give to them. Even if it is words of encouragement and affirmation. Be encouraged and thank you for sharing your story. SteokeLight2B
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