May 29
Shanla
Shanla , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

I HAD SO MANY DOWNS, AND UPS; AND ONLY 60 YEARS YOUNG!

My heart attack was in August, 2007 ... two days before I was to drive my youngest to her first year of College.  I live in Illinois; the drive was to be to Baltimore, Maryland.  In a way, it was a blessing that, if it had to happen, that my heart attack did not happen while we were on the road.  However, my fears run deep because in 2000, I was diagnosed with an Autoimmune Disease ... Sarcoidosis.  It is now in remission, as of December, 2008 ... an awesome Christmas gift, it was.  But, the Sarcoidosis could be the reason that I had a heart attack, my doctors said.  And, they, also, attributed the Sarcoidosis to the massive stroke that I had in August 2004.  While treating me for this stroke; the doctors determined that I had had 3 previous strokes, before the massive one.  My life has been full of miracles ... one, I am still here, and two, I am still mobile.  With the exception, of a right droopy eye, and paralysis of my right forehead ... I still have full use of my limbs, my voice, and my other faculties.  I know that I was blessed; after reading, and hearing, other people's stories.  And, my story still has not ended.  In May 2014, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  On July 9, 2014, I had a right mastectomy.  Another blessing, I was told it was Stage One, and I did not have to have the Cocktail Chemotherapy, nor any Radiation.  I do have to take a Chemo Pill, everyday, for 5 years.  I was, also, told that I only have a 7 percent chance of it returning.  Why, EVERYDAY, EVERY MOMENT, I live in fear of something happening, again ... the return of the breast cancer, a heart attack, a stroke, or, even, the sarcoidosis returning!  There is NO peace, and just going on with life, as usual, anymore, for me.  My life is not normal, anymore.  EVERYDAY, I AM ALWAYS SCARED!  Will there be a tomorrow?  Now, just recently, I discovered new lumps, in my right arm pit.  So, I feel like I am sitting on a time bomb, again.  I am scheduled for an ultrasound, on my right armpit, and a mammogram of my remaining breast, June 2, 2016.  YES, I AM SCARED!  I AM STILL SCARED!  I AM ALWAYS SCARED!
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19 Comments
  • trvlgy2u
    trvlgy2u,
    You stay brave...you are doing great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • purple heart
    purple heart,
    I was also always scare. You need to find one positive thing around you each day and focus on that . Write it down in a journal . Do this every day! Soon you will be too busy to think about being scare and you wil be enjoying life! I wish you all the best ! Be strong !
  • akbj
    akbj,
    Hi, you've been through way more than most people, I can't even imagine! My prayers are with you.
  • jsorlean
    jsorlean,
    I can relate to your fear. Two days ago I found myself in an emergency room because my blood pressure spiked. A few days earlier my cardiologist recommended I double my dosage of a beta-blocker I am on. It is a possible way of increasing my heart's ejection fraction, the percentage of blood the left ventrical squeezes. I felt very dizzy and decided after speaking with my pharmacist to cut back to the original dosage. In doing so, I missed the evening time dosage my body grew used to getting. The emergency room doctor explained that missing that time slot could cause a spike in blood pressure. Was I scared! My blood pressure is now normal. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and having the BRCA gene mutation 6 years ago. She had a double mastectomy and chemo. She is well. All lab tests that have been taken have had good outcomes. I am scared every time she has them. A nutritionist that I consult with recommended the book "Radical Remissions". Friends who were diagnosed with cancer found this book very valuable. Best wishes to you. Your courage in the face of fear is a gift to us all.
  • ANNET
    ANNET,
    A higher power has been with you, Shania! And that loving force will stay by your side for this next testing. I hope you have family and or friends close to you that will continue to support you. I had a heart attack, cancer and 10 weeks ago, open heart surgery ( all this in 3 years) so I know the feeling of fear. However, I also realize that I have no control over some things that happen in my life. They could be trials I have had to deal with to teach me a better way to live. Keep strong and know that there is something better after all is done. Remember the Divine and forget, let go of, everything else!
  • Shanla
    Shanla,
    THANK YOU, EVERYONE! ♥ @purple heart ... I, actually, already share 'My Positive Thought For Today' postings, between my FaceBook pages, on my Instagram account, and, even, have a Board, specifically, for Breast Cancer, among my Pinterest Boards. It does help; however, I never forget. Thanks for the suggestion, anyway. P.S. I forgot to mention that just, recently, I had another scare concerning my heart. I had an emergency angioplasty on May 5, 2016 ... where I received two stents. I just feel like I inherited all of the bad genes from both of my parents, and ancestors. However, to be fair, the doctors did test, my genes, to see if I carried a family gene for the Cancer, and stated that my Cancer was NOT inherited. So, I believe that it was because of all of the steroids, and meds, that they had put me on ... especially, when I had the autoimmune disease. On some of the bottles, Cancer was written, in the descriptions, as one of the side effects, of taking them.
  • polazodnem
    polazodnem,
    Hi .! dont worry God have a plan for you to save your life with happiness with smile.. GOd is so good all the same.. God bless with you always.. Have a wonderfull day and happy life every single day to us..
  • Bevrly
    Bevrly,
    Sorry to hear about all of your problems. Just remember God is there for you and has plans for you and is keeping you around for a purpose. I have been lucky in life and do have a few medical problems but at 85 I guess that is expected. My husband had a stroke in 1990 and about 12 years later he got alzheimers an Lewy Body Dementia so we had a few bad years. He passed away in 2009 and life is lonely but I still belong to the Stroke Support Group and am a Stroke Peer Visitor. Try not to worry about the future and live one day at a time. God is watching out for you.
  • ccutchin
    ccutchin,
    I thank you so much for sharing your story woman of God. I will be praying for you. Be blessed.
  • Mystroke
    Mystroke,
    believe me I understand how you feel. I feel the exact same way every day or week when you don't know what the next thing is going to be with your health. i'm afraid all the time. I do believe GOD has a plan for our lives I have to trust HIM. the only time i'm not worrying about about how things are now and where they are going is when i'm asleep.GOD BLESS YOU!
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