Apr 23
JJR
JJR , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

I Died...

I am a 57 year old woman. I am healthy and had no prior heart disease or never even thought about it. Looking back at the day I realized that I did have symptoms. But I had no idea. My symtpoms were so subtle that I would have never associated it with anything, let alone a heart attack. I sweated a little so I drank coconut water, slight pain in my shoulder and down my arm but I thought I needed a good massage and must have overworked it when I did my yoga in the morning, a little jaw pain but it too passed quickly..everything that happens in a womans heart attack are all symptoms that are not enough to make me think anything was happening. Unlike Men who have  dramatic symptoms.
I went to meet a friend for dinner. I remember driving half way to the restaurant and my memory stops. Nobody has really offered me a good explanation for how I drove and functioned with absoluetly no memory. The  rest of my story is what Ive been told as my memory has not returned.
10 minutes later I started sweating..My friend asked me if I was flashing...:;) then she randomly asked me if I was having a heart attack ( she is a very good friend and knew I have never had heart problems). I grabbed my heart and collapsed. I was unconscious; I vomited (aspirating into my lungs). By the time EMTs got there I was dead. The gave me CPR,( cracked 4 ribs),gave me shock 3 times but my heart wouldnt stay beating. The hospital was waiting for me and preformed a quick angyoplasy and put in a stent. They then put me in a medically induced coma. They told my family to prepare themselves; I may not come out of coma and if I do nobody knew what condition my organs, mind and body would be in. My memory is still unclear and I dont remember much of anything for the weeks that followed. I have been in and out of the hospital. Have had 3 heart caths. My stent closed up quickly and 2 heart caths later they put in another  stent in the same place.
I have been deeply depressed.I have now been diagnosed with Anoxic brain injury as my brain was deprived of oxygen. Im having trouble remembering anything. I have lost my tastebuds (anyone else?) I have nobody to talk to that understands what Im going thru. When I go to cardiac rehab or to my cardiologist; everyone looks at me like I should be picking up my elderly parents. Its hard to walk in and everyone is old, on oxygen and using canes or walkers. All this is just to much to process.
To be honest, I am afraid that at anytime I might just drop dead again. Its a very scary feeling and dont know how to deal with this overwhelming fear/ Anyone else survive dying?
 
  • Daughter
    Daughter,
    You are an amazing woman to have survived all that you have!! Posting as you have you send the message to other women on what to look out for. Who knows what woman you may have saved today by posting what you have! God bless and hang in you have a purpose yet to be discovered!
  • kimong
    kimong,
    I can so very much relate to what you said about walking in and feeling like people expect you to be picking someone up, instead of being the patient. I did not have a heart attack, but had a stroke at the age of 40 (am 46 now). I have a 9 year old daughter. So I am around a lot of younger people, or even parents my same age, but of course no one is disabled like I am now. I feel the same self consciousness whenever I hobble into a place. And some people think that I am at least a decade older than I actually am, and some people assume I'm my kid's grandma. I hate it. BUT, I am trying to learn and remember that a lot of the feelings I have are just that - my own feelings. I may feel like a spotlight is on me, when in reality, no one is thinking about me at all. And if they are, who cares? I'm not saying this is easy, and it is a process. I am not totally there with it. But I am trying to get to a point where I don't care what other people think, or just don't even think about it at all. Life is definitely not fair, but stuff happens to EVERYONE. Anyway, good luck. Try to get to a point where you don't care what others might be thinking. Hang in there!!!!
  • JJR
    JJR,
    Thank u for the encouragement. I really don't care what people think, it's how I feel about myself. I've been called a miracle but I'm not.. I just survived. And thinking there is a reason or a purpose is almost to much pressure to do something.. Women have got to get educated to heart disease. Women put everyone first and don't pay attention to their own needs/ health/ body.
  • staylor
    staylor,
    I'm 69 years old I died on Sept 18, 2015. I do not remember much for the first 4 weeks. Thought it was dream. I too was in induced coma. My family was told almost the same as yours. My only symptom was shortness of breath. I passed out in the living room. My husband called 911 while doing CPR. the EMTs took me to the hospital as they pulled in drive of the hospital I also died (I'm told approx. 15 mins. pass and they got me back) I have been blessed I am pretty much the same as before this happened. My hair is falling due to the drugs I was given. The depression was bad. Not so much now. I have not been able to figure out my purpose yet. God bless and keep you safe. Just remember you are a special woman! Sheila from Virginia.
  • Laura196550
    Laura196550,
    I think my story is past due and I should tell people this I have something's that I feel compelled to speak about. As many of you are well aware on 01/16/2007 I shot silicone up ( my drug dealer sold it to me and I had no reason at all to doubt it was anything but Meth) that was a turning point that I can in the same sentence say I regret and also am blessed it happened. My demise will be an indirect cause from my poor decisions. I remember that day like it was this morning, I went to bed always wondering where my next bump would come from and awoke with where to go find it. I was a closet addict I never hung out with users I was quiet and to myself. I actually was one of the few no one could even tell I slept every night did very normal things, Don was a workaholic and sadly he brought home 6500.00 weekly after taxes we couldn't even pay our water bill Don was starting to question where all the money was, so many tangled lies it was horrible I couldn't one lie to the next. The day I died poor man had no idea what happened till the needle was hanging out my arm. I was sick Jesus Christ I was sick. On top of that I was an atheist I never talked about your God and expected the same respect. The second day in ICU Dr. Herrington called Don in and said if your wife has family more than 3 hours away tell them get on a plane. His last words she won't make it another 5 hours. My kidneys shut down my liver my heart should of blown up 226 it was bad not double but triple pneomia septic shock and infectious Endocarditis right sided. One massive stroke one minor, I died 6 times the sixth final time Dr. Mehl actually called the time of death and was doing the dreadful deed telling my family. See the sixth time I died my soul left my body I was in fear and wanted out. I remember opening doors each one was similar to the black hole. The 5th door I opened it dawned on me someone would literally catch me so I didn't fall in. I looked at this man wearing a Shepard's robe, had a sheep headers cane, a glow, I remember one thing that stood out he had holes in his hands and feet. He says Laura my child I come to offer you 3 things you choose the one you want. Suddenly I was so drawn to the music playing beyond the beam of light. It was alluring, I was so taken by that peace and music I've yet to ever hear since that day. He offered me Sacrifice first, then he told me I could go right back to why I'm talking to him, lastly he said you have a blessing to come. Guessing God knew my answer, they were taking my body to the mourge, thank God my hand fell out my nurse Ann went to tuck it back under my sheet when she screamed SHE HAS A PULSE MEYL he said your mistaken I declared her dead. Then Ann goes on saying she has a pulse I know what a pulse is, they pulled the sheet down my eyes were open and I said oh my god don't shock me again. 4 months later 58 pounds lighter I was wheeled out the hospital I was told ID never walk without a walker if I even got that far. One year to my release date I walked back onto the ICU unit tears of joy so much love from my care takers. The damage I did to myself is debilitating I already had hep b sympatric lupus. My name is Laura I'm dying from severe CHF and it's aggressive. I've been blessed you have no idea how blessed Emmy is Proof, two years to the day Emerald Renee was born Via C-Section I did not want to have another baby to bring up,,,God sure knew what I needed and he has blessed me. It is so easy to die,,,,,I want to LIVE!!!
  • JJR
    JJR,
    @staylor...so you do have memories of dying or being in the coma? My hair starting falling out, and a lot of other symptoms. Nobody believed me when I complained something was very wrong! They tested my thyroid and the drug amidrione literally burne
  • Joannie
    Joannie,
    Thank God that you are alive. My mom died on the operating table, but she was older than you. She was 86. She would have been 87 twelve days later. They tried doing cpr and at 1 point it seemed like she was coming back, however then they were losing her again. They were going to do a temporary pacemaker wire and angioplasty through the groin, and were waiting for the surgeon. But they said she just didn't make it and died. But for a long time prior to her dying, the doctor thought that the burning, bloating pain she had been having in the chest/stomach area was gastritis. He didn't realize she needed to have her heart examined and checked. She did go to a cardiologist and he said that since the doctor was treating her for gastritis that that is how she should continue to be treated for gastritis. He really should have done further testing for a heart problem that she might be having. Women should be more educated to heart disease. God Bless You.
  • JJR
    JJR,
    @joannie.. I am so sorry for your loss! I also have been told that my extreme heart pain while I was in the hospital was told it was gas as well. I did have tests but they failed to show my stent had closed. Doctors don't really listen or care.
  • Mudfence61338
    Mudfence61338,
    Wow, I died too. I remember it. I had a blocked stent. Your story sounds much more serious. You will be okay though.
  • JJR
    JJR,
    @mudfence.. Did u have a heart attack before and that's why you have a stent? When ur stent closed did that cause another heart attack? So, u remember dying?
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