In April three days before my 39th birthday I was diagnosed with heart failure. This came as a big shock to me and change my life completely. My first thought was how could I let this happen? Why didnt I watch my eating and activity level? Its easy to blame myself. The doctors were really unable to determine the actual cause. For the first six weeks I couldnt do anything and a month after my initial diagnosis I was in the ER again. I felt hopeless because I was unable to go to the store or even play with my kids. Household chores were a struggle for me. Not only was my heart failing but I was failing in life too. My chest pains were severe that I was in constant fear to even drive alone or be alone. Around that time, I turned to the Lord for help. With my brokenheart and hopelessness, I needed a strength and hope. So now three months later, I've changed my diet, almost done with cardiac rehab, and began my walk with the Lord. Now my doctor is talking about an ICD. Again, this through me for a shock and was expecting this.My feelings of hopelessness and failure came rushing back. All this brought me to realize I need a support group. People who are or have been in my place. I'd like to know how others live with their diagnosis. I continue to pray for healing but also for peace with whatever the future may bring.