Feb 20
RGordon
RGordon , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

Heart Failure changed my life.

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We all deal with these things in our own way, but I think most of us feel a need to know how it effects others and we want hope.

I was going through one of the hardest times in my life. One day I got dizzy, fell, and smashed my partner's favorite antique lamp. I was more worried about him killing me than the fact that I couldn't get up. I was fifty years old. We went to the Insta Care. They immediatley called an ambulane. That scared me.

I don't know how the rest of you felt but " strange or weird " is how I would describe hearing " You have heart failure." " Over half of your heart is gone, or not working.

Then I was alone in the ER. Wow, it is something else when you realize what is happening. We have lost so many in our family from heart failure.

I have went through a stage where I wanted to know everything! My mom use to get mad at me. "Stop looking things up" she would say. I think most of us want to know! I sat in the kitchen with my uncle. He was telling me something when he fell off the chair and was gone! My grandfather dropped at work and another uncle at work and three cousins in their thirties, two in bed and one in the bath tub. This week another cousin passed  away in the night!

I am not trying to be negative. I am just trying to help people realize what it is like to live with heart failure. That first day at the heart failure clinic is one that I will never forget. They have a round about way of letting you know! I mean, letting you know that you are going to die. The doctor put his hand on my knee and said " Your heart can not be fixed. " Wow! even though I have seen so much of it in my family, knowing it is you has a feeling that can not be explained, unless you get news like it. I will say that it effects those around us! It is so hard for them. They do not know what to say, especially when it is somebody young.

So, next month, I will get the defibulator. I don't want to drop dead yet!

To those who just found out, know that it is normal to feel what you are feeling and what your family feels. My twin goes nuts. " What will I do?" We need to think about our loved ones

It gets better. I am finally getting to a point where I am not constantly thinking about it.

One very positive thing that Heart Failure has given me is a desire to make every day a good one and to live my life with loved ones as much as I can! Love you all!

4 Comments
  • JamesPL
    JamesPL,

    Amazing story! Keep up the positive attitude! I'm convinced recovery is as much about attitude as it is about physical healing.

  • LeaMcguire
    LeaMcguire,

    I'm 49,a mom,grandma,wife and nurse who has been given the news that I have CHF. I know to well the prognosis and it certainly is depressing as I have alot of living to do and not ready to hang it up. I read your story with tears in my eyes as I understand what your going through. My family really doesn't understand that it's a progressive condition of which there is no cure. Thank you for sharing your story and letting me see that I'm not alone in having the feelings that I do. 

    Thank You, 

    Lea

  • LeaMcguire
    LeaMcguire,

    I'm 49,a mom,grandma,wife and nurse who has been given the news that I have CHF. I know to well the prognosis and it certainly is depressing as I have alot of living to do and not ready to hang it up. I read your story with tears in my eyes as I understand what your going through. My family really doesn't understand that it's a progressive condition of which there is no cure. Thank you for sharing your story and letting me see that I'm not alone in having the feelings that I do. 

    Thank You, 

    Lea

  • Vivien6188
    Vivien6188,

    Wow what a courageous man you are., thank you for sharing your story with us. I am a 50 year old lady who suffered CHF on the 1st of December 2017, and have just had my CT Angiogram 3 days ago and now waiting on the results. It’s been a very hard time for me and my partner since my CHF because I’ve changed so much. I’m constantly looking up what it means to have CHF and  terrified of what’s to come. I guess you have helped me realize by your story, that life goes on and you just have to keep living.. yes it’s scary but life is what you make it! 

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