Heart attack with 2 dfibsOn April 23rd, 2016, at 45 years old, I was having a heart attack and didn't even know it. I eventually made it to an emergency room where they told me I was having a heart attack. If my family would not have pushed the issue I would have taken a nap and tried to sleep off what I thought was heart burn.
As they were going over what procedure was going to be performed, I went into D-fib, I was shocked and I "awoke" from what felt like a dream. While I was "away", I could faintly hear conversations going on around me, they were at the time annoying but I finally listened to them. It was the staff in the ER that was yelling my name. When I came back out of dfib, I didn't know what was up or down, completely and uterly confused. It took a good couple of minutes before I knew where I was, who I was, and the horrible reality of what was going on.
I was immediately wisked away for surgery (through the wrist) and I had a conversation with one of the ER caregivers. I told her if I go away again, to slap me, scream at me, do whatever as that was why I came back the first time. I could hear them and that brought me back. As fate would have it, I felt the surreal feeling of my heart going into dfib for the second time and I warned them as much as I could. I was shocked again and this time when I went away it was very similar to the first time except it was difficult to hear and follow the sound of what was going on around me. I heard a voice and pulled out of it for the second time. I didn't have the same feeling of my world turned upside down and inside out. I knew what had happened and I almost felt guilty for following the voice back to consciousness. The stint procedure proceeded and I advised the woman in the ER, the voice I followed back, that if that happened again and I went away, I was not going to be able to get back.
I don't expect many to read this entire post as it is mostly therapeutic for me just to get it out of me. I have went through a "life changing" event and there seems to be no one that can "relate" to dying twice. No one understands that almost a year later, I still suffer from anxiety about my health, worry and sleepless nights. No one understands why I freak out when someone "scares" me by sneaking up on me.... do ya want to know what if feels like to have your heart stop? Have the crap scared out of you and you can actually feel your heart drop.... that's it. Not a good feeling anymore.
If there is anyone out there that can relate to any of this mess, I would love to hear from you, would love to see how others cope with their own personal battles. I take one day at a time and am thankful for my family that has stuck with me and to the people in the ER that saved my life.