Hello, Three weeks ago I has a heart attack, lad 90% blockage with stent placement. I am a healthy eater, clean foods mostly organic plant basd foods, nonsmoker and nondrinker. Risk factors low according to my primary and ED docs. Had yearly checkups with normal vital signs and lab work. I am pretty active. I have been caring for my wonderful 95 year old mother for about 17 years with help from my niece and brother the last ten years. My cousin is a nurse and is helping out until I recover. I am grateful for that. My family and I took a trip to Hawaii for my mother's 95 birthday and a week after we got back I had my heart attack. I am numb, angry, depressed and mad at God. I will not pray or go to church. In the past I always relied on my faith to get me through some tough times.I have no desire to do any of it anymore. My main concern is my mother. She stopped eating and drinking while I was in the hospital and when I got home she started eating again. I am worried what will happen to her if I die. I feel I am a time bomb ready to go off any moment. I have back pain wondering if it is my heart, taking so many pils, legs cramping from the statins. I would like to give them all up.The cardiologist told me I am on heavy duty blood thinners so I have to be careful or I could have some serious bleeding problems. My version I could bleed to death. I am a positive person at least before my MI and now I feel very negative. Cardiac diet what good is it? In the past I made fresh homemade meals with high quality ingredients for my family and I. We joined the Y and worked out and did laps in the pool. I feel I do not want to waste my time and energy trying to get healthy when I did this in the first place. I would welcome any suggestions/advice and I thank you for your time.