Oct 21
mr_hockey
mr_hockey , Posted on SUPPORT NETWORK Blog

Frusttrated after strokes

I had a stroke on March 19, 2011 I was only 44, they said it was a vien in my neck that caused it. I lost use of my hole right side. I spent a month and a half in the hospital rehabilitating.  I gained back back about 60 percent of what I lost. I was in and out of the hospital for the next to years. then in February of 2013 I had a TIA and ended up in the hospital again, this time they put a Holter monitar on me and sometime during the night my heart did some weared things that they needed to do some more testing.  The test they did was a bubble test and they found out I had a hole in my heart that never closed when I was a kid. So on April 1st 2013, I ended up at the Clevland Clinic having it closed. Everything seemed good until February 14th 2015, I fainted and I ended back up in the hospital, they said I did not have a stroke, but I was dizzy, lost vision in my right eye, weak, and I lost control of my right arm and leg. They said it was just the flu, I think I had a stroke again and even my primary thinks so to. The neurologist says it highly unlikly that I could have a stroke in the same area as the first one. I spent a month in the hospital for that and everything I gained from my original stroke I had lost and then some.  Now I fight going to sleep, I had a little trouble sleeping after my original stroke but I would fall asleep after about an hour after I went to bed but that was probably due to knapping on and off most of the day.  Now I fight it and don't fall asleep untill 2am or 3am in the morning when I go to bed at 10pm I am affraid to sleep.  I try to shut my brain off and relax but that does not help.  I have tried listening to calming music and that hasn't helped either.  I also can't get motivated, my body is exausted when I do the simplest tasks.  I have asmtha which also maks it hard to do anything. I have therapy exercises that they gave me to do but I have so many areas to work on that I work on one area and then switch to another area that the first thing I worked on I loose. So from the first stroke I gained back 60 percent now I struggle to get back even 40 percent. I walk with a cain now . I don't know what to do anymore and I am getting frustrated and my body wants to give up. I guess not being able to sleep is my bigest fear, has anyone ever experienced this, is this some form of PTSD.
5 Comments
  • rkbk1983
    rkbk1983,
    I had 2 small strokes in 2006 due to a hole in my heart, which I had repaired. In 2014 I had a major brain hemorrhage, unrelated to the others. I am surprised you are having trouble going to sleep--I get tired very easily. I am also on a medication to help me sleep. I would suggest asking your doctor about this. Some avenues: medication, breathing techniques, or seeing a psychologist to talk about your fears. I hope you find relief soon.
  • mingo1
    mingo1,
    I know this blog is a little old, but I wanted to suggest one thing to do. I had a widow maker in 1993 and then a defibrillator shortly afterwards. I too, have had some PTSD and went to all kinds of doctors. However (and this seems weird), I have added one thing to help with depression and being scared. I color!! Not since the 5th grade, but now very intricate pictures with pencils and some pens. I can spend hours coloring and think of nothing but staying in the lines. All other thoughts go away for that period of time. Whether this could help or some other hobby, keep busy. I am doing great now and know that the defibrillator can and has saved my life. Try some Mandela picture books and good pencils. Hope this helps.
  • BrendaDnNC
    BrendaDnNC,
    Mr. Hockey, I'm no health expert. I'm just a fellow-traveler, here. But it sounds to me like your trouble sleeping could be hyper-vigilance. It usually takes more than just hyper-vigilance to diagnose PTSD--but it is clear that you are really stressed, and justifiably so. Ergo your utter exhaustion. I'm betting that even when you're asleep, you aren't resting deeply, but are spending a lot of time in unrestorative sleep. Have you tried some short-acting anti-anxiety drugs, like Ativan or Klonopin? And given what you've been through, have you considered some counseling with someone who knows about dealing with health challenges? You've been through such a wringer with all of this!
  • Christinag
    Christinag,
    I just had a stroke in September 2016 in my occipital lobe which left me with vision loss. I was told it is an unlikely place to have a stroke but the MRI proved it. So yes, I think you may have had a stroke or at least a severe migraine which acts like stroke and I am not a doctor, just a survivor like you. Also, when I had the stroke, it was my second, and the weaknesses from my first stroke returned and the hospital staff said it was just being tired. But I saw a new neurologist after being released and she came from Cleveland clinic and she explained that the deficits from the prior strokes will come back when the brain is sending all is energy to repair the newest part that is injured. So I am at rehab working on both areas. Get the MRI to prove the stroke if you can.
  • mr_hockey
    mr_hockey,
    I want to thank you all for you suggestions and ideas. I will try them.
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