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tmbosnick, August 14,  2019  2:31pm EST

Frontal Lobe Hemorrhagic Stroke

Hello there,

My 71 year old father was in a bicycle accident on 8/9/19.  He suffered a stroke at impact after he hit the pavement.  The crash was captured by a dash cam; the men that captured the video acted quickly and my father was airlifted to shock trauma. He is one of kind, very fit and athletic bikes 20-30 miles 3-4 days per week, gardens, lives life to the fullest.  He is in ICU, has a feeding tube (soon to have PEG because he is not swallowing), limited movement left hand, he hasn't talked or opened his eyes, however, he does listen to commands (thumbs up, lifts legs, puckers up for a kiss, squeezes our hands, etc.)  What things can we do for him during his hospital stay to make him more comfortable?  We have been playing music (loves Billy Joel) and talking to him.   Any other suggestions???  He is the most wonderful person in the world...we are hoping that he will be OK. 

Thank you.


3 Replies
  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie, August 15,  2019  7:40am EST

    I am so sorry that this has happened to your father. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to make him more comfortable now. What are the doctor's saying about his condition and recovery? I look forward to reading what our members are able to share with you regarding their experiences. Best Katie

  • JeffB
    JeffB, August 15,  2019  9:11am EST

    Sorry to hear that your father had this injury. It's a major event to survive and having family around to help and be present is so huge. It sounds like you are doing everything right from what you wrote. My friend had a similar stroke three years ago now. When he was in ICU, and unconscious, we read to him, talked with guests who stopped by and made sure we audibly included him. Recanted stories of good times and positive notes about his recovery citing what his Dr's told us so he'd have something to mentally work out in his head as a framework for what the road ahead might look like. We found stories about other stroke survivors and read those as well to him to provide some layer of hope as well.

    That's the easy part.

    The hard part for himself and for his friends and family will be to aggressively adopt any changes as OK and normal. Don't dwell on what was lost but celebrate the man who is with you. Strokes are tough. Well, any brain injury is, they can totally remap a person's personality in unexpected ways. The thing you might want to consider is to support him as an individual as he comes back out of where he is right now.

    There are going to be plenty of times for despair and depression however try not to fall into that cycle. You will be tempted to do things, everything, for your dad (or his actual caregivers) but give him responsibility for himself as soon as his Dr's give him clearance. This could be as simple as bathroom, bathing, making a sandwich, going for walks or even paying his own bills. Let him take his time as recovery is radically different for everyone. But also empower him to become responsible for himself in whatever way he can as, in my experience, it will make him feel useful and productive and give him something to be proud of... something the stroke didn't take away.

    Lastly, be good to yourselves. What you are going through is huge. It's a lot of stress and responsibility. Be there as much as you can, but take precautions to listen to yourself and allow your own time for grief and healing. Don't burn out quickly, instead, kindle a slow-burning flame of support that your father will be able to rely on like a lighthouse in a storm as he finds his way home.

    I wish you the best of luck.


  • Matthew1
    Matthew1, August 16,  2019  6:15am EST

    I’m very sorry to hear this. When I suffered a stroke and was semi coherent in the ICU, I have vague memories of physical touch. I.e, My wife holding my hand. It meant a lot. Being present and  having him know that you are there is paramount. Telling him stories and reminding him of happy things and memories may help. Remember, every stroke is different and everyone heals at a different rate. Be patient, understand he has suffered a major brain injury and there will be good days and some not so good days. That’s part of the process. He needs your help in taking care of his emotional needs. But you also must take care of you! Make time for yourself. Finally, be in regular contact with neurologists to understand his progress. Hope this helps. Stay strong!!!! 

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