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P0tluck94, January 16,  2020  11:48pm EST

New member in a really dark place

I had a small stroke 27 days ago out of the blue, was rushed to the hospital and the next thing I know I'm admitted and told I need a carotid endarterectomy, had the surgery after 9 days in the hospital released 2 days after surgery on Coumadin and other med's, after a lot of blood work and testing they've Said the stroke was due to me being dormant from me also being agoraphobic for 14 years and my folic acid and b vitamins were critical which made my blood homocysteine level high, which means I guess my blood was very thick, but it doesn't answer alot of questions I tried to get answered where no seemed to want to answer them for me , but I see my blood Dr on the 20th hopefully they can give me some answers, I'm in the darkest place of my life right now, no Hope, wake up everyday in a fog, can't get ahold of my psychiatrist, suicidal thoughts as I feel like I'll never be able to get back to my old self, I don't have any damage from it as far as paralysis or speech or anything like that I was extremely lucky I just don't feel right in the head, it's extremely dark and scary and I don't know what to do anymore, anyone out there that can give me some advice or exercises I can do to ease these thoughts would be greatly appreciated. 

4 Replies
  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie, January 17,  2020  10:43am EST

    I am so very sorry that this is what you are experiencing! I am glad you see your doctor this coming Monday and will hopefully get more answers then. In regards to the emotions side of this, please continue to try and reach your psychiatrist and if your fears and thoughts get too hard to manage, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or contact them via the web.

    Thank you,

    Katie Bahn
    Community Manager
    Support Network

  • Trazana
    Trazana, January 20,  2020  9:59am EST

    Like you I had a crytogenic stroke ion October 3,2017 . However, mine was massive and I have aphasia. I want to tell you be patient and trust the process. Our brains are resilient and it will reroute itself. I too was in a very dark place earlier in my wellness journey. I was able to come out of it and accept the stroke and now I rising like a Phoenix! 
    Give yourself time to heal. A book that really helped me was "My Stroke of Insight". 

    Singing out loud,word puzzles,meditation, yoga,acupuncture,chiropractoic,massage, physical therapy,occupational therapy,arts & crafts, and eating healthy saved my life!

    You will survive and getting better!

    I send you Peace,Love, Healing & Abundant Light!


  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie, January 21,  2020  10:05am EST

    Good morning, I was thinking your doctor's appointment was yesterday. I wanted to check-in and see how things are going? Please let us know if you feel comfortable sharing. Best Katie

  • caleb0261
    caleb0261, January 21,  2020  1:23pm EST

    I was discharged in August 2019 after being in hospital for nine whole months in total.  My stroke affected my left side, and my vision and my cognition were also affected.   I would not have known where to start writing this, and it’s taken a while, but I’m assured it’s all good practice and will help me.  (But I do apologies for any mistakes! …spelling and grammar….etc.) They say patience is a virtue, and that may actually be more true after stroke.  However, I do see improvements every day.  Stay strong and just talk about how you feel.  I had numerous areas of my brain that were affected – I become very emotional and I cry sometimes.  I was not depressed, just a little bit ‘wazed’ off with my brain.
    My journey all began back in November 2016.  I had been feeling very tired for quite some time and my wife came in from work one evening to find me very drowsy and not very responsive.  He called for an ambulance.  Shortly after I had a seizure and then another four more on the way!  I had a blood test and they found I was severally anemic, with a blood count of 23, so I needed 4 units of blood, which needed to be done very quickly as otherwise, I would not have survived. This did wonders for me and I was in hospital for around another week, then discharged with plans to do further investigations as an outpatient.  After been home for around a week, I had another seizure and was taken back into the hospital.  I had a few more, which led up to my first stroke on 12th December.  I spent all of Christmas in hospital and was making a good recovery up until 31st December.  On New Year’s Eve, I had my second stroke, which affected another area of my brain. This knocked me back, but I carried on with my recovery. I was starting to get quite down, but then my first grandchild told me about herbal remedy of one Dr Odia who was said to have cured Stroke. I was in hospital and so I had something to focus on.  After a week or so I was moved home. We had to contact the Herbalist for his herbs. I was doing really well for a couple of months as I had just starting to take a couple of steps with the herbal herbs. While I was at home, I was visited by a Different Strokes volunteer as they heard I was recovering in months after taken the herbs. they where also a stroke survivor.  I was inspired!  So, when I was well cured, I joined the Different Strokes ‘family’ (#dsfamily).  The peer support is fantastic and I am now even involved in running the Leeds Central group!  I am fully cured. I survived strokes and I’m here to tell the tale! Contact Dr via Dr Odia Herbalist Home on facebook. or you cam email: ( drodiaherbalistcenter@gmail.com)

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