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How do I regain some semblance of my previous life?
Happy Mother’s Day to all. This has been a crappy day for me ( on pity pot) since I lost my 44 year old son (twin) in January,2018, from an emergency pulmonary embolism. I realized after I posted a couple of days ago that I had originally posted my story in April. Husband bought me a new iPad and I am still trying to get my sites/passwords up to par. I did decide to go for my 5 th ablation on May 9...mainly because I have not tolerated any of the meds well.
Will I ever be able to return to some sort of normal? I know I will be less physically ( no more 36 holes of golf in the Texas heat), no more working in my gardens from 7a to 8p, and God forbid if I try to vacuum my entire house in one episode.
I just want to be able to do some.......I am willing to rest as needed, but I can barely make my bed without having to rest from one side to the other. I think back to my near 50 years of working as an RN, and I was tough. Now I feel like a bowl of jello.
SOMEBODY—-ANYBODY—— please tell me that I can get on a routine that will help me gain some strength and stamina.
i an including a photo of my little piece of Eden....
AHAASAKatie, May 13, 2019 11:17am EST
I am so sorry that you are having to manage all of this! From the loss of your son, through to your own illness and treatment. I wish there were a way that I could tell you how long it will take you to get better, but I can't. I had extensive back surgery and a life-threatening DVT experience in 2017. It took what felt like forever to get better. It was about 1 year later, that I was even close to my normal energy level. There are also other medical conditions that can sap the energy out of you, thyroid, hormones, vitamins like b12. Have you done a full workup, looking for other issues as well? I know it's hard to face yet another docotor's appointment, but it might be worth the time and effort. Best Katie
taurabarr, May 13, 2019 11:58am EST
Hello! I first want to offer my support for all of the tremendous changes you are experiencing in your life. Navigating these unexpected trails can be difficult, so first and foremost be gracious with your self (body, mind and spirit) as you walk this journey.
I had a pulmonary embolism in February 2013, with multiple complications, while pregnant. It took me about a year, cardio rehab and daily exercise to get some sense of physical 'normalness' back and much longer for my mind and spirit to heal. Most importantly for you, I created a new normal, one that allowed me to enjoy life while managing chronic conditions and a lot of emotional challenges. On the surface, I know it sounds difficult, but you will create a new normal for your life. One that doesn't look back to the past, but one that looks ahead to your future. You will carry memories with you along the way to inspire and support you to keep going. Find gratitude in what remains, and just keep moving forward, even if you sometimes feel like crawling....just keep going. And reach out for support when you need it.
Prayers for peace, guidance, and the physical strength to carry on,
jerzeycate, May 13, 2019 5:14pm EST
Boy have you had a bad year. First let me say how sorry I am about the death of your son. There is nothing worse for a parent. And, what atie to be dealing with your own health crisis. One thing I didn't see was when you got sick. How long have you been fighting the cardiac monsters?
Finding the answer for cardiac issues is most times a marathon. Sometimes it feels like we have been dealing with this "forever." Other times we Have been dealing with this "forever."
I've aso had multiple ablations, but , am now doing well with medications. It's so scary. Never knowing from one day to the next whay you will be dealing with. And, I don't find many people wanting to talk about what's ben going on with my heart. think that it's jut too close to home for them since I'd never had a heart problem before a virus ble out my cardiac electrical system. The old, "If that can happen to you it can happen to me." Well,,,, ummhum. Yes it can my dear.
This is a good place to wind up. We have been where you are, may be there now, r heading there in the future.
Be well and stay in touch.
It's a Great Day to Be Alive...
Margeetx, May 13, 2019 6:34pm EST
Hey Cathy and Taura and Jersey and Katie: Thank you all for responding to my posts. It is amazing to me that there is such a great group of folks here. And if you haven’t read my history, I posted details in April and then last week. I think you can search MargeeTx and find them. I have had the most terrible past 2 years, but losing my son so unexpectedly is the worst. God was with him that morning- he was able to pull his truck out of traffic and I understand that he got out of the truck and hit the ground and was dead. This was confirmed by the EMT’s, Careflight, ER and the autopsy. He was a health nut....and the rest of his body was in perfect health. We were able to do some organ gifts.
Anyway, I have been probed and prodded everywhere and just the arthritis and disc issues and the heart are my only problems.
Thank you all and please stay in touch.....margeetx
DolphinWrite, May 16, 2019 12:09am EST
Prayers. Then look for the good things in life. 😇🤗
JimSinclair, May 16, 2019 6:12am EST
Please excuse the tardiness of my reply. I am struggling to learn a new laptop with a much more advanced operating system than I am used to.
You do definitely have a piece of Eden
It takes time to settle in to what you describe as normal.
I would not even try to imagine how difficult it would be if I lost one of my sons. I would think all my health issues would pale in comparison. In my file folder I have named your post as no more. After my strokes many years ago I struggled to try to figure out how if I could learn to use a walker; how could I ever golf pulling my clubs behind me with the walker. Never once did I consider the possibility of using a golf power cart. I was very fortunate in that everyone me believed in having me focus on the positive possibilities of my returning to golf. Golf is the perfect activity to use as a form of rehabilitation when we are slicing the ball we adjust our stance we change clubs to fit the distance. I we can’t putt worth a darn we get a different putter. From the looks of your piece of Eden I suspect that much of your enjoyment of being on the golf course comes from the physical surroundings. If you want to continue with your love of the game I suggest you make a number of adjustments to fit your present circumstances much as I did in Arizona. There is absolutely no need to walk 36 holes in the heat of summer. Riding and playing nine holes in winter can be a very positive experience if we think in terms of how fortunate we are to be able to be on a golf course and adjust our expectations. We may need to be acceptant that our drives are now 150 yards rather than 240 to 260 yards.
This can be our new normal if we celebrate every good shot we make given our circumstances.
MissEverett, July 25, 2019 5:10pm EST
I can fully understand your situation. I have been diagnosed with coronary heart disease and had a stent placed in one of my arteries. It's been 2 months and I am always so tired and have no energy. Just taking a shower is a chore for me. I tried pulling some weeds in my garden and became winded and out of breath after a few minutes. I have asked my doctor if I will ever feel normal, but I always get a lame answer like, "It takes time."