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How thankful am I?
I have been pondering how thankful I am a great deal this week. The two-year anniversary of the great DVT incident of 2017 came and went in early Nov without my noticing. I was to head down in my own world and responsibilities to notice let alone be thankful that I was still here. It was not until last weekend; I was traveling with a friend to see my daughter (and with 10 hours in the car with nothing to do but think) I realized that Nov. 8 had come and gone.
A part of me was shocked that I had forgotten the day I almost died, and I do not say that lightly. It was a really bad DVT incident, with a 24-hour tPA drip, ICU time, stent procedure and lots of nastiness. And to make matters worse, the incident came 2 weeks after extensive spinal fusion. So, needless to say- I could not wait to put that time behind me. To heal and move on.
However, now I wonder if I have moved on too much. Become too busy with my career (I LOVE the AHA and what I do on the Support Network and in other areas) and tied up in family obligations. My father passed away in April, making me now the adult responsible for my 80-year-old mom, plus I am an active parent in my girls’ lives.
Even in writing this post I feel a bit tired, overwhelmed and struggling to be thankful despite all has occurred this year.
However, there is a nugget of thankfulness that is starting to emerge.
In my mind, the nugget seems to be growing like the Grinch’s heart in Dr. Seuss’s children’s book How the Grinch Stole Christmas. And, as I read back through what I have written to our community, I read words that are changing my perspective and thankfulness is bubbling closer to the top of my heart.
- Thankful - I survived Nov. 8 in order to be busy at home and church, to help people on the Support Network and have a job that is meaningful to me.
- Thankful – Although losing my dad was painful, he is no longer in agony and at peace.
- Thankful- I have this time with my Mom to get to know her on an adult level.
- Thankful- My children are 18 and 21. I am lucky that we genuinely like each other and want to spend time together beyond the obligatory holiday meal.
So now, I am feeling more and more like the Grinch at the end of the book, “And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day,” Sourced from QuoteGeek
For me, I feel happier and lighter after writing this. I hope you are in a space to share your thoughts about the past year and thankfulness as well. There is no expectation or promise that you will feel better at the end of your post, but sometimes- it is possible to have a nugget of thankfulness grow three sizes during one post 😊.
Wishing you all a peaceful, healthy and Happy Thanksgiving.
Support Network and MyAFibExperience
AmbassadorC, November 26, 2019 8:40pm EST
Good evening Katie and Heart Warriors -
This is such a great question to pose - I love that you shared your feelings, emotions and perspectives. As patients it is so easy to be focused on life here and the now and not realize how far we’ve gone and how much we’ve concurred and overcame. Through the negativity of life’s circumstances, it’s always a plus when we can see our obstacles turn into milestones of accomplishments, even if it’s just celebrating the little things. We all have allot to be thankful for; even if it’s just nuggets...
Thank you for sharing - ❤️