Dayogls
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Dayogls, October 18,  2019  12:01am EST
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Back in the hospital

Well I'm back hooked up to these machines 

Alone and scared 

Can barely talk  without breaking down 

I feel so much dispare and powerless 

I feel robbed I should be home giving my kids a bath reading a good book kissing them goodnight 

 

10 Replies
  • JeffB
    JeffB, October 18,  2019  12:25am EST

    Dayogls,

    When I was where you are now, sans children, I reminded myself that these women and men were trained to take care of folks like you and me.

    Take a series of deep breaths. Hell, scream if you need to. You will get through this.

    Press on your Dr's for immediate information and (most importantly) a communication channel that won't cost you and will help you in the long run.

    Ask your nurse for something that will help you sleep tonight.

    Best wishes,

    Jeff

  • vancet
    vancet, October 18,  2019  1:32am EST

    So sorry you are back.  Please listen to the doctors after you talk to them and tell them everything You are feeling. They have seen people like us who have survived heart attacks.  Please keep calm and know you are not alone.  I hope they can treat you quickly. 

  • CoachBrown
    CoachBrown, October 18,  2019  8:02am EST

    Hey, we have something in common!  I was in the hospital on Monday!

    Had my MI on 5/5/18, triple bypass on 4/30/19, and felt chest pain that I hadn't felt before so I was admitted and spent the night.  Full work up and a nuclear stress test later, I'm cleared.  They think it's gastric but they were happy that I got looked at.  "Listen to your body" all the doctors said.  "You've been through it and you are the best judge of what feels right" they all said.  

    Still, the hospital sucks.  It brought back emotional flashbacks for me and I was pretty wrecked before I stepped on the treadmill as it was after that moment 6 months ago when I was told I needed the bypass.  But all lights now are green and life moves forward.  Remember, while the people in the hospital are awesome (at least mine were), it's still a place that makes you remember all your problems and place that makes you feel sick.  Get out, take a walk, play with your kids and keep living!

  • JeffB
    JeffB, October 18,  2019  1:38pm EST

    How you doing today Dayogis?

  • Dayogls
    Dayogls, October 18,  2019  2:28pm EST

    Good morning  everyone and thank you for the kind words and encouragement 

    I'm home now resting

    It wasnt a cardiac event

    It was an anxiety attack

    So I've decided to delete my google app and focus on getting healthy 

    I saw my PCP  and she too reassured me that with life style changes and taking my meds I should be able to live a long life and even come off some meds

    She gave me some stuff for anxiety a referred me to the mental health department 

    And said i don't have heart failure and that my EF should be between 60-70% although she wasnt 100% sure 

    I was also cleared to back to work on monday since I'm an engineer working for NASA all i do is sit in a cubicle 

    I'm feeling a little better and more secure but still have the bad thoughts in the back of my mind

    Again I'm so glad I found this forum 

    Look forward to talking and meeting all of you 

  • JeffB
    JeffB, October 18,  2019  2:48pm EST

    Dayogis,

    That's great news. Also, don't feel bad. I was up in the ER three times in my first six months. Each time was a panic attack.

    Thanks for checking back in and have a well-earned rest.

    All my best,

    Jeff

  • Headwaters
    Headwaters, October 18,  2019  6:41pm EST

    Dayogls,

     

    I don't post much.  But, do keep track of things that are posted and the people that helped me through my event.  I myself am 6 months out from my stent and HA.  Just had that follow up.  One of the things we discussed was the anxiety I sometimes feel.  And, that there is a new normal that we all must figure out.  I wish you all the best and (as we all do) understand the flood of emotion/confustion/anger (maybe) and possibly largest what's normal now?  Please, trust the medical professionals you are seeing.  Trust this group, they understand and don't judge.  Be well both in body and mind and never hesitate to lean on us as fellow survivors and friends. 

  • Wainy1
    Wainy1, October 18,  2019  7:08pm EST

    Great news it's no good me saying don't worry although it's the best advice but rest is a must I found sleeping stopped me worrying and aided my healing I still worry but no where near as much it will lessen in time first get rest glad your home 

  • Gerlijk1
    Gerlijk1, October 19,  2019  4:09pm EST

    You are where you need to be. You need to take care of you... so you will be with your kids on their next Birthday, Holiday and other milestones. Like most of us Moms though we tend to take care of everyone but us. 

  • nghafner
    nghafner, October 21,  2019  1:22pm EST

    So glad you're feeling better. I remember the weeks after my HA, every day seem full of anxiety. Then it was every couple days, and so on and so on. Fast forward to today, 18 months later and I'm getting to know what triggers the anxiety and I can safely put it to rest. That's not to say that I don't take notice of the occasional strange chest sensations, but I am grateful for my awesome care team that I can call on any time, and all of you on this forum that are willing to lend an ear.

    ~Nancy

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