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BrianG, February 5,  2019  11:14pm EST

Surviving The Widow Maker

Hey there, 12/14/2018 i had 100% Blockage of LAD while exercising at the gym. Due to a great staff, a defibrillator on site, a well trained staff member, EMT and a near by Hospital with best Cath Lab in the city im alive and well. I know its barely 7 weeks but i just want to feel “normal” again. When does that happen ? When i left the hospital only 5 days later I felt GREAT except for the trauma to my chest, ribs n heart. But i was so happy, so glad to be alive. The world looked great. Felt like i could be back to normal in a couple of weeks. Had a wonderful Christmas but as the new year started i started to feel sad, anxious and afraid. Every little twinge freaks me out. I live a healthy life style, good diet, non smoker etc. Basically down to genetics for me. Went back to ER once afraid something was wrong.....all was clear....likely just psychosomatic. Joined cardiac rehab, taking my meds and going for long walks. Feel great one minute and the flop sweats the next. No angina (or very very minor last a sec) but a feeling of lactic acid at times in chest or back or neck. Almost gone back to ER like 3 times but i was ok. Tough to sleep. i know it will get better. Reading your post really helps. Makes me cry with joy hearing you are doing well. I just want to feel normal like i used to but i know my reality has changed. Perhaps mild depression but still trying to be active with family n friends. Just wanted to share my feelings here. Thank you to the people who run this site and thank you to the survivors for has helped me many nights reading these post.


Thank You All ! 

5 Replies
  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie, February 6,  2019  8:44am EST

    Good morning, thank you so much for sharing this! Anxiety is very common after such a traumatic event. Would you be willing to talk with a therapist to help work through some of these concerns? Many of our members have done this and found therapy to be very helpful. Please know that we are rooting for you! Best Katie

  • BrianG
    BrianG, February 6,  2019  9:09am EST

    Yes my rehab programs says they can refer me to therapy etc. I just had my cardiac rehab intro class....doing individual, one on one consultation and stress test next week and will ask for that referral. Just writing to the forum here helped. Thank you for this forum. 

  • Time121
    Time121, February 8,  2019  12:02pm EST

    Very similar situation. I hope the fear goes away sometime soon, I am with you,, every thing that twinges, I stop what Im doing and wait for a shock from the defibrillator. Life has changed for me also, your not alone, hang in there. My family helps alot. 

  • DolphinWrite
    DolphinWrite, February 9,  2019  1:35am EST

    Hey, bro.  Glad to have you.  You'really in excellent company.  You'll hear this from others:  it''s a process like all of life.  Everything you'be said is normal.  Most go through a range of emotions, and having someone to talk with helps.  If I could do everything over again, afterm my heart attack, I would have asked more questions, researched more to become my own advocate, but also do things I like to get my mind off.  Can'the worry all the time.  Good that you see the doctors when things don't feel right.  I did that, and with time, I understood more.  6 or so months later, things are much better, my heart funation is completely normal thought last muga test showed about 30% ejection fraction, though sonagram said 35-40, and my doc doesn'the mention an intereal defib anymore.  You'll learn patience, but also enjoy things more and more.  ALL the best. 

  • BrianG
    BrianG, February 9,  2019  5:34pm EST

    Thanks Everyone....I have great news I came through that dark period. I started feeling much betterlast week and then I had my first, like 6 week check up, Echo, ECG and talked to Cardiac heart is back to 55/55. He was surprised but said the speed at which i was taken care of plus my fitness level was something he had hoped for but didnt think totally possible . So WAHOOOO ! REadinbg this forum the last month has really helped! Thank you for your replies and kind words !!!!

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