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Joanne65, January 8,  2019  2:50am EST


My partner was diagnosed with afib around July this year. Had a conversion in September which put him back to sinus rythym but has since reverted back. He goes for another cardioversion in a few weeks. In the last few weeks he has started to push me away... We aren't living together and feels like he doesn't want me around. He has indicated he still has feelings for me, but wants 'space'. He also said that this afib is consuming him. I want to provide support but am struggling as he doesn't want to see me. Any advice? 

5 Replies
  • Drumz47
    Drumz47, January 8,  2019  9:01am EST

    Do t let him isolate himself with this condition it will consume his negative thoughts which will effect his heart health. Keep in touch and let him see you being up beat , go bring him some health food like soup and maybe do some research on how diet can help this condition in a major way. It’s helped me more than 80% to deal with 12 years of AFIB.  It’s a very mentally draining condition and his heart needs to be surrounded by LOVE and happy emotions. A warm touch and a hearty smile go a very long way in ones day dealing with AFIB. Don’t give up. Never give in to this condition. There is good quality life and WE can live with AFIB. God bless both of you ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟโค๏ธโœŠ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿฟ

  • Jeanamo815
    Jeanamo815, January 8,  2019  1:40pm EST

    Welcome to our forum, Joanne65.

    It sounds as though your partner may be suffering from depression .  It is not unusual for many of us with a-fib to exerience anxiety and/or depression, especially when newly diagnosed and feeling all the "uncertainty" about  it.    It would be a good idea to encourage him to talk about this with his doctor...or with another professional who can be reassuring and help him to make the adjustment to life with a-fib.

      He is fortunate that you are there to give him support....although he may be resisting it at the present time.  You might suggest that he  join in our forum where he can get support and helpful information so that he knows that he is "not alone" in this a-fib journey.   He can express his concerns freely here where we all share our experiences in a friendly atmosphere. 

    I hope that he will soon feel better and more responsive to your efforts to give him support. Getting help for depression and anxiety can be important as well.  Hopefully, his next cardioversion will keep him in normal sinus rhythm for a long time.  He may also want to discuss other medicines and procedures that might be recommended in the future with his electrophysiologist. 

    Thanks for your post and let us hear from you again.

    Wishing you and your partner the best,


    (My A-Fib Experience Community Leader)

  • Thumper2
    Thumper2, January 9,  2019  8:34am EST

    Joanne65, both Jeanamo and Drumz have given good advice.  But if your partner wants to be rid of AFib (or at least to live with it successfully), he needs to head in a direction which can yield that result.  Here are some questions and suggestions.

    (1)  Is he seeing an electrophysiologist (EP)?  This is a specialist in electrical matters of the heart (which AFib is).  Most cardiologists are not specialized in this matter.

    (2)  If his second cardioversion does not keep him in NSR (normal sinus rhythm), then he should probably be looking at ablation(s).  An ablation is only a procedure, not surgery, and, in my experience, no more difficult than a cardioversion, except that you don't end up with "sunburned" skin.  Most people on this forum have had one or more ablations and can describe their experiences, if asked.

    (3)  Assuming your partner gets to the ablation stage, be sure he is seeing an EP who has done hundreds of them successfully.  

    (4)  Push him to join this forum -- he needs to be taking responsibility for his own education on AFib, and doing so will probably help alleviate any depression he may be suffering.  

    All the best,

    Thumper2 (Judy)

  • lmaj
    lmaj, January 9,  2019  12:29pm EST

    Hello Joanne . . . I'm sure it would be difficult trying to support someone with afib.  I know for myself, I go inwards when I was episodic.  It is very difficult to be "present" . . trying to interact with someone else while in an episode is hard, and then inbetween you just wait for another episode---it's truly awful. I am divorced so I did not have a partner--I wish I had but I know from what my children have said and how I felt, I just was NOT myself--in any way shape or form and was also very distant. 

    I think the thing to do is to get  HIM dialed in to this forum. In addition, while he may be pushing you away, at the same time, he does need and want support.  But it must be hard to be on the other end and to feel that alienation when in reality---he is just finding it hard to deal on so many levels.

    I echo what others have said--join the forum, get himself to an EP, consider ablation---all of that.  Hang in there and let him know you are there for him in whatever capacity he needs at the time . . .

    All the best to you.


  • depotdoug
    depotdoug, January 9,  2019  1:39pm EST

    Joanne,  Cardioversions that I've had (3X) in the last 6 years there abouts. So my last, i should never say last to a Sudden Cardiac Arrest survior, Since Cardioversion #3 July 16th 2016 I've been in Normal Sinus Rhythm since. Have I had Atrial Fibrillation eposides or thought I had or worried that I would any time? Yeh! That's the Anxiety in my body, mind and health that I am trying to control. Believe this or not by Exerrcising my body. Yes, Jeann, Spencer, Edhammer, Mellanie, and so many others know I love exercising so much that it does relieve anxiety better than Xanax generic and my Buspirone combo meds. 

    I'm worried a bit, maybe a lot, probably a whole lot about my AICD/Pacemaker device Ex-plant and new device Implant scheduled for next Thursday 11:00. (-7) days countdown and counting.  I will be in My favorite hospital EP Lab #1 or #2 for the sixth time in one week. Yes I'm ready to 'get er done' as they sometimes say in the miltary. And probably my RA(right atria) pacing lead will need replacement. More Invasive intervention into my heart. More anxiety in my (-7) day countdown, Yeh. I'm even requesting an "MRI" cocompatible new ICD/Pacemaker device for my heart. Will I get it? I'll remind my EP Doctor again. Plus are my RA and RV leads "MRI" compatible? Do not know that either, my EP doctor and EP lab staff due, plus they should have my new device company tech rep present, i hope. 

    Am i ready for EP Lab action, yeh. Not going back into AFIB,yeh. Going to stop exercising, (thought I may of had an AFIB episode this morning post exercising but it subsided) No! Going to slow down, no. Going to loose sleep, no. I've got a lot of people looking out for me, my friends right here on At home AFIB forum where we can relate, communicate, care, respond, express a part of our lives health and future. My Church family is a tremendous support pillar for me. It helps, really helps to reach out and grab on to support freinds here that DO CARE. 
    Doug (depotdoug)

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