Kholl53
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Kholl53, September 16,  2019  7:35pm EST

Lonely

Hello I'm new here. I had triple bypass surgery on June 20th 2019. I'm all alone and my emotional well being is not so good. I'm here looking for support and some one to talk to and meet new friends. Thank you for accepting me to the group.

5 Replies
  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie, September 17,  2019  9:05am EST

     Good morning and Welcome! Please know that you are not alone in your experiences. We are here with you and want to support you! Best Katie

  • jerzeycate
    jerzeycate, September 18,  2019  3:16am EST
    —Pngtree—healing beautiful healing system illustration_4119081.jpg.

    Dear Lonely...

    Life goes on … And You will too.

    Living with a serious cardiac issue is not an easy thing. It’s one of those, I made it this far, now where do I go.  
    Emotionally I was a mess. 
    I was angry that I had gotten sick. 
    I worried that things would go downhill again. 
    And, if I am honest with myself, I know there were times I wondered if I’d have been better off not surviving.

    You are 3  months out from surgery,  the time when the physical effects of major surgery may have healed, but --the Emotional recovery has just begun.

    The doctors were telling me how lucky I was, “Keep up the Great work. I’ll see you in 3 months.”. Some of my friends/family would chuckle and play it off as “Just another day in the life of Cathy.” 

    And I would smile and go through the motions…
    I’d tell my husband, my parents, my friends that I was doing fine.
    And physically I was doing fine, but emotionally- though I know how what I feel like feels like, I can’t  (to this day) find words to describe the dark places I took myself to. 
    Worst of all I thought I Was different. 
    Thought that I should be grateful Should be happy… 
    I wasn’t suicidal but I saw no purpose in going on.

    Then I found out that I was far from alone. 
    hThat nearly 50% of cardiac patients go through what is referred to as a cardiac depression.

    Please learn the symptoms of depression.
    Please work with someone to assess your level of depression and what might indicate a need to seek professional assistance.r/ Clothes.
    Learn about your particular heart disease/disorder
    Do what You need to do to remain healthy.

    For now, just give yourself time to heal,
    While the physical healing may be done, emotionally we have “bitten off more than we can chew.”
    More than Anyone would ask themselves to bear.
    I belong to a Great FB Clun made up of people with various heart disease/disorders
    It’s a Closed Group where I know, if nothing else, that I am “Never Alone.”
    Let me know if you’d like to be invited to check out the group...


     

     

     

     

  • JamesPL
    JamesPL, September 22,  2019  8:31am EST

    Hello Kholl,

    After bypass surgery, your feelings are not uncommon. I am a quintuple bypass survivor. I was warned of the feelings you are experiencing prior to my surgery. I was encouraged to speak to therapists after my procedure. I did and it was a good experience for me. I learned some tips about how to reduce stress in my life. My recovery was also aided by cardiac rehab. This too was a good experience as it taught me the proper things I should be doing to help my heart recover and gain physical strength. It was also a good place to meet other people that had been through a similar experience. I would encourage you to explore these two avenues especially cardiac rehab. It will give your recovery a much needed lift. Please also know that you will eventually gain all your strength back and resume the life you had. 

    You are always welcome to dicuss anything that's troubling you on this site. 

    Please take good care!

    Jim

  • NewPacer73
    NewPacer73, October 10,  2019  4:50pm EST

    Look to see if a "Mended Hearts" group is nearby. It's a national organization with chapters around the country. If there is one, you meet monthly with them, have a topic discussed, but the real business is the fellowship of the group both at the meetings and in between. Your hospital/cardiologist may have ideas too. I also started my own support group on meetup.com and we meet monthly. Like you, I am alone and I know that I need a support system that has people I can talk to when I have concerns or worries. Also, I use the patient portal with my cardiologist occasionally when something unusual is happening and she responds within one day. That saves me worry time thinking something is wrong. As a last suggestion, I would seek out counseling. Cardiac problems are scary. Emotional well being is crtical to our success at recovery and my famous last words "getting my life back." The fact that you wrote on this blog is wonderful. Reaching out, you will find the support you need. There are so many of us around. 

    I joined a coffee group of women on meetup.com, keyed in my zip code, and found them. Those ladies get me out going to movies, plays, trips, etc. And I found out over time, some of them are cardiac patients too. Most groups on meetup.com are free or some have some minor fee of $10 or so a year. The meetup groups usually have a focus, like coffee chats, art, book clubs, etc. Whatever turns your clock, I promise you there is a meetup group for it.

    It took me a long, long time to find these resources. But your issue is the most common one among cardiac patients. I hope this gives you some ideas on what you can search for to get the support you so deserve. May hugs from me. Write anytime on this blog. Now that I found you, I'd be happy to respond or help in anyway I can. We're in this together.

  • jerzeycate
    jerzeycate, October 20,  2019  10:27pm EST

    Hi there,

    How are things going?

    I was thinking about you the other day and wondered if you've found a place to share your feelings, face your health situation and eventually move on?

    It's been a while since we heard from you here, so I thought I'd ask...

    It's a great day to be alive...

         Cathy

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