MsLita1
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MsLita1, December 30,  2018  8:31am EST

Unsure

My mom had a stroke Oct 2018 in Michigan. She was staying with my brother & his family prior to & after the stroke. I currently stay in Georgia so right now I offer limited assistance. My brother is having a hard time & is very stressed due to taking care of my mom & other personal issues. We have agreed that I would take mom for a little while to give him some breathing room. I am working on getting insurance & Healthcare set up here for her before we get her but I feel like I'm not going to have everything in order that she should have. Also I have concern that if it's that hard on my brother who also has the assistance of my dad (parents are divorced & she constantly gives him a hard time & always says he's mean to her), how difficult will it be on me with only the assistance of my husband. Sometimes I think about seeking assisted living facilities but my mom probably would not like being in a place with people she don't know & I'm not completely comfortable with that idea either. Right now my brother & I say we will rotate caring for mom so it won't be too much on either one of us & our families. 

5 Replies
  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie, December 31,  2018  9:46am EST

    I am so so sorry that your family is having to manage this. We have some great caregiver resources that might help this transition easier for you all. Please know that you are not alone in this and that we are here for you. Best Katie 

  • JamesPL
    JamesPL, December 31,  2018  3:16pm EST

    It is always a difficult thing to care for a parent that has become ill. I think that how you and your brother are managing it is the right approach. When My dad became seriously ill, my siblings and I did something similar. My dad remained in his house but we would exchange time staying there while we helped to manage his care. It was a good way to help keep him comfortable.

    I wish you well in your mom's care and recovery.

    Jim

  • taurabarr
    taurabarr, January 4,  2019  1:50pm EST

    Hello and thank you for sharing your family's journey. Although I've not had to worry about my parents, I did have to manage my Grandmother's illness and she lived with my husband, children and I for a period of time. My biggest recommendation for you is to go in without many expectations---I had expected we would be able to do it with the help we had and we could care for her (she had parkinson's and was failing quickly) but the reality of the situation hit us really hard and we finally had to admit to ourselves and to her that she needed additional care that we could not provide.....this was incredibly hard and the conversations that ensued were probably the most difficult because my Grandmother was so beloved by all of us and she hated the thought of having to live in a nursing home. Looking back on the situation, we could have managed it very differently by being very upfront in a loving way with her and discussing when we would 'pull the trigger' so to speak on either additional care at home or going into the nursing home. On a positive note, the time we had with her will be cherished and although it was challenging, it brought us closer together and the memories we made helped me when she passed away. If we had a family plan (or multiple scenarios), it would have made things must less stressful in the long run. Please use the resources on this website, talk to folks who have cared for their loved ones and begin thinking about what your needs will be in these upcoming months to make this transition as smooth as possible. Prayers for you and your family as you navigate this difficult, yet beautiful time. 

  • MsLita1
    MsLita1, January 8,  2019  6:57am EST

    Thank you so much for the kind words. Trying to figure out the insurance part now for her to come here because her current insurance is not valid in Georgia. 

  • Vegas
    Vegas, January 8,  2019  5:44pm EST

    Think she qualifies for social security / ssi or ssdi which is national with a few state to state differences so should be able to transfer to Georgia.

     

    Don't feel bad about thinking about assisted living, it can be a good option but is really costly. Maybe give it a month or 2 to decide what option is best.

     

    Take care,

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