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shanaminei, February 4,  2019  2:46pm EST

At a stand still

My dad had a stroke 2 weeks ago and everything has been a whirlwind since then. I am an only child and this event is hitting my mother and I pretty hard. We are also confused because even though he was "elderly" at 83 years old, he was extremely active and independent, he never smoked, did not have diabetes, had ridiculously good blood pressure, etc. etc. So we are not only heartbroken but also confused about how this happened and how his health conditions were missed over the years by doctors.

He had the stroke in his left brain so his right/dominant side is affected. He is awake but "sleeping" most of the time. He still cannot talk and we are not sure what his vision is like. We show him pictures constantly and also try to show him judo and track and field matches to spark his stimulus but not sure if thats working. 

What does a "normal" recovery look like? We are worried because he still cannot speak.

Thanks in advance :)

6 Replies
  • Kdogg240
    Kdogg240, February 4,  2019  3:18pm EST

    Hi, I am sorry to read about your father. Normal is different for everyone and their recovery process. What I can tell you is that you need to make sure that you there for your dad. Make sure you are his advocate, ask a lot of questions to the doctors. Don’t be passive, learn and understand what to expect from your  fathers recovery process. There, I’m sure is and will be a lot of doctors and nurses and specialist entering his room. Ask questions! Gain all of the knowledge you can. I wish I did when my wife had her stroke. My mind was also in a whirlwind, because we had a 14month old child at the time, so I was in and out of her icu room a lot and sometimes missed the specialist and doctors. If I knew now, what I didn’t then. I would have drilled everyone with questions. Good luck to your dad and your family. We will be thinking and praying for you guys. 

    Kindess regards Kevin 

  • AngieMoscho
    AngieMoscho, February 4,  2019  3:21pm EST


    Stroke is an unfortunate event and can be very life changing. From what you indicate, it sounds like your dad was a very healthy 83-year-old which is awesome. Unfortunately, people can do all the right things right sometimes and a stroke can still happen. 30% of strokes are from causes unknown. It is very common after someone has had a stroke to sleep, be very tired and fatigued. There is not a magical timeframe when the tiredness will go away. When I talk to stroke survivors, everyone is different and their body responds differently when recovering. As with any type of recovery, time is of an essence and should hopefully decrease as he recovers. All stroke recovery is very individualized to what they need. Recovery and therapy afterwards, can be very intense, along with the recovery varying for each person. The time frame for recovery is very different for each stroke survivor. Depending on the needs, they may have physical therapy, occupational therapy and /or speech therapy. Recovery from a stroke wil take time and patience can be hard during. Hopefully he is doing some speech therapy to help with the language aspect. I wish all you the best of luck during this time of recovery. 


  • shanaminei
    shanaminei, February 4,  2019  4:24pm EST

    Thank you so much for the responses they mean a ton! My mom and I are at the hospital every day and are really engaged with the staff so I am hoping that is also helping. It is really nice to connect with people whp are going through or who have gone through the same thing!

  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie, February 5,  2019  8:56am EST

    I am so sorry that this has happened to your family and VERY glad that we are here to support you all. I can share the resources that we have for families and caregivers.  Please know that you are among friends and we want to know how all of you are doing during this time. Best Katie

  • DolphinWrite
    DolphinWrite, February 20,  2019  12:57am EST

    My dad went to a retiremedy home, then on the day I had a heart attack, he was moving to a care facility, now at a more involved place.  Both events brought us all closer.  I believe he had some small strokes as the symptoms, but things have improved with time and meds.  For awhile, he would go through periods unable to talk, confused, even lost.  My sister, who had more time, learned about his condition, a's did I, and talked to everyone.  It''s taken time, but we know more, and getting him to doctors and getting the facility to understand more what he''s going through has been an education.  However, now we know more and he''s feeling better.  With time, you will understand more.  My sister goes to support groups and researches.  I look up information and talk with the facility.  It''s a process, but with time, you will understand more.  God bless. 

  • shanaminei
    shanaminei, February 20,  2019  9:35am EST

    Thank you so much. This support group means a lot and hearing about everyone else’s experiences is helping. We are looking for a LTC facility now for him and are hopeful because he is improving. He’s proving all the doctors wrong thinking he was too old to recover but he is. He is trying to talk and he is able to swallow and actually feed himself. 

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