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Lbuell, January 3,  2021  9:50am EST

Spouse Caregiver Burnout

My husband of 35 years had a sudden massive stroke 16 months ago. Before that we were very active, traveled several time a year and had a great life.  Our lives turned upside down in an instant and I am now his caregiver. For the first 2 months I was his sole caregiver and realized I was so overwhelmed it almost broke me.  Since then I have hired caregivers to help me 6-8 hours a day and it's still not enough...... I am so burned out now that I can barely get through each day. The worst part is that every time we go places and do things the only thing I can think of is how things used to be before the wheelchair and left side paralysis.   Struggling from one day to the next.

3 Replies
  • AHAModerator
    AHAModerator, January 3,  2021  11:09am EST

    Welcome to the support network and thank you for opening up and sharing your story with the community.

    I'm sorry to hear about your husband's stroke. Transitioning from having an active life to becoming a caregiver is one of the most stressful experiences one can go through. I'm glad to see that you are getting some help now, even if you feel like it's still not enough. It's so important to try to find time to take care of yourself as well. 

    Please remember that it’s normal to have these feelings and you are not alone. Others have been down this same path and are willing to share their stories and advice with you. 

    We also have a few resources that may be helpful for caregiving:

    Resources for Caregivers:

    Life After Stroke:

    Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.

    Best wishes,

    AHA Support Team 

  • JamesPL
    JamesPL, January 4,  2021  7:08pm EST

    So sorry that you are going through this. As much as you have wanted to care for your husband, you did the right thing by getting help. It's so important to give yourself some much needed alone time. Anything you do for yourself will also help you care for your husband. Is your husband going to physical therapy at all? If not, you may want to explore this. It could be a good way toward helping in his recovery. It might also help to contribute taking some of the pressure off of you. I know this is very difficult for you but please don't give up hope!

    I wish you both all the best!


  • Lbuell
    Lbuell, January 9,  2021  3:29pm EST

    Thank you, yes he has worked hard at PT and OT for the past year,

    He is showing slight improvement but still 100% wheelchair. 

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