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tryingmybest, October 27,  2020  9:06am EST

Scared - Unsure What to Expect

Hi everyone, I spent 3 hours last night reading through a couple of forums here and decided it was time to sign up myself. I'm a 37 year old woman with an 81 year old father who has been battling CHF for quite a while. He also has stage 4 kidney disease which makes balancing the two a bit difficult but he's managed so well up until this month. He lives alone, but I noticed increased shortness of breath, and extreme fatigue. I could tell he was holding onto fluids. His doc called me during my dads appointment asking me to come get him and admit him to the hospital as his EF significantly decreased to 11%. He spent 3 days in the hospital getting IV lasiks and lost around 11lbs in fluids which had him feeling really good but upon arrival home, he realized how hard it is for him to do any of his daily tasks. My husband and I are childless and we have room in our home for him, so we are just now starting the conversation about having him live with us. While I want to be able to give my father everything I can and take care of him, I'm terrified. Do you have any advice for entering this situation? He has labs being taken today and a cardio appointment tomorrow so we will learn a bit more about what his future holds tomorrow I assume. Any ideas on what I can expect? I have so many questions and anxiety about this all.

4 Replies
  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie, October 29,  2020  9:25am EST

    I can only imagine the challenge you are experiencing at this time. Caregiving for your parent is very hard. We have a great deal of information on managing heart failure and how to step into the caregiving role.  Please know that we are here and want to support you through this time. Best Katie

  • maldon21
    maldon21, November 6,  2020  7:51pm EST

    Thinking of you, please keep us updated with the results of his tests and if and when he comes to live with you. Keeping you in my prayers. I'm 31 living with my father who was recently diagnosed with CHF. You are in my thoughts ! xx

  • tryingmybest
    tryingmybest, November 13,  2020  9:17am EST

    Thank you for your kind responses, it helps to know you're not alone on this journey.

    Well we went to his cardiologist appointment a couple weeks ago and he basically said there's not much difference between 25 and 11% ejection fraction. Said it sounds like a lot but it's not really. During a physical exam of my dad he said you'd never even know he had heart failure - heart ok and lungs clear. He then answered a bunch of my questions and said my dad can get better and talked about staying active. He put an order in for cardiac rehab.

    So far, my dad has poo-poo'd cardiac rehab and has not scheduled it. He has a stress test next week that he says is pointless since my dad does not qualify for any procedures due to his horrible kidney function and age. So.... he might be cancelling that too. I visited him at his home a couple of days ago and he was extremely depressed after having to put his dog down - he doesn't think there's anything good in his life anymore.

    Needless to say, it has been a rough few weeks worrying about him and trying to advocate for him.

    They increased his water pill from 20mg to 40mg and he's starting to gain water weight again. It's all so up and down and very difficult when you feel like they aren't doing very much to help themselves.

  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie, November 19,  2020  9:18am EST

    Good morning, just checking in to see how things are going? Best Katie

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