• 5 replies
  • 3 followings
rkessler, March 2,  2021  4:43pm EST

Feeling very alone

Hi all--my 30 year old husband has heart failure, including an ICD implanted into his heart. About a month ago he had 12 arrhythmias in the span of 10 minutes and was rushed to the hospital (I had to call 911 twice even though we live in a big city and it took them 20 mins to get here)! It was horrific. Anyway, we used to be a very active couple (my husband was a professional athlete until he collapsed two years ago), and now we are waiting to hear back from the doctor about when he is going to have an ablation. He is scared to really move around ever since the incident and honestly I am scared for him to as well. He had previously had a few arrhythmias every so often and gotten shocked, but never more than 1 at a time until about a month ago. I am so scared and am trying to help him the best I can but I'm not sure what to even do or say. And I'm scared of the ablation. The doctors said his will be very complicated. We are such a young couple and it pains me to see him this way and to feel so useless. I also feel so alone because none of my friends and family really understand any of it. Does anyone else feel this way??
5 Replies
  • AHAModerator
    AHAModerator, March 2,  2021  5:14pm EST

    Hello there, 

    Thank you for reaching out to the Support Network and sharing your experience. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time with your husband after his diagnosis - he is lucky to have your support.

    As you hear from others on the Support Network about their experience, I want to remind you that you are not alone and hope that you can find a sense of community and support here. In the meantime here are some resources on Mental Health and Well-being that can help you. Also, if you visit  heart.org and click "In Your Community" on the navigation bar, you should be able to find your local AHA office that can help you find more resources for support groups in your area.

    Best wishes, 

    AHA Moderator 

  • JamesPL
    JamesPL, March 3,  2021  8:27pm EST

    I am so sorry about what you and your husband are facing. It is very common to have these fears after a heart diagnosis and a very natural reaction. Although I haven't experienced heart failure, I do understand the fear after having my own heart scare. I was told of multiple blockages in my heart's main arteries and that the treatment was multiple bypass surgery. This was a shock for me as I had no family history and had never had any prior issues. I had always taken care of myself as well having exercised on a regular basis. Even still, the open heart surgery was necessary and I was scared as was my wife. As I went through the process of preparation, I also became more educated having to interact with a few healthcare professionals. This helped to calm my fears a little. Some of the things I learned are that the technology for treating all levels of heart disease is excellent for which patients today are fortunate and giving us real hope for success. Recovery has also progressed in terms of how we rehab to get ourselves back to our pre-diagnosed selves. You had mentioned that your husband was a professional athlete. That is a good thing as far as recovery goes. I was told that since I had exercised on a regular basis, my recovery would be smoother than had I not. I was also told that doctors appreciate patients that take care of themselves because they tend to follow directive when going through rehab and recovery. Regarding cardiac rehab, I highly recommend it. It is good for both mind and body.

    Wishing you both well! 


  • Gregoryia
    Gregoryia, March 29,  2021  3:24pm EST


    I just wanted to say you are not alone. My husband is 46 and shocked 5 times 4 weeks ago. Since then he has had 3 more hospitalizations and has just been admitted again this morning. He was an athlete too (Powerlifting and football). It is hard not knowing what to do or expect. YOU are not alone . I am here if you want to talk

  • CherylRN
    CherylRN, April 3,  2021  5:33pm EST

    I feel very alone too. Although your husband is much younger than mine. My husband just turned 47 considering still pretty young for having a quintuple bypass December 17, 2020. It's only me and he takes out all his frustration on me. It's very difficult to see him struggle. But it's also very difficult for me to except this loss at such a young age. I think I can relate.

  • fprrn123
    fprrn123, April 7,  2021  5:23am EST


    It is a very lonely feeling sometimes taking care of a loved one, eventhough you might have many around you. My 56 y/o husband suffered a cadiac arrest after having an allergic reaction to anesthesia and is now wheelchair bound and suffers from myoclonus. He takes a lot of medication every day to control the tremors but it is very debilitating. He is sad a lot and hates depending on everyone for his every day needs. I hate seeing him like this because he was always so active and now it takes 3 people to help him walk with his walker. The best advice I could give is just to be there and take a breathe when you can especially when things get frustrating. Best of luck.

dark overlay when lightbox active
dark overlay when lightbox active
dark overlay when lightbox active
dark overlay when lightbox active