queenbeem
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queenbeem, July 25,  2019  9:40am EST

Dealing with a loved one's stroke

I have been dealing with my husband's stroke and seizures for the last two years, it has not been easy. I really do not know how to deal with it, I try to be patient, but I am not that young anymore and sometimes my patience is limited. I pray everyday and God does give me strength to deal with it.  I would like to help my husband and try to understand him, because he has a difficult time expressing himself, since has had 7 strokes and quite a few number of seizures.  I work and now I have to take care of things that he use to do. I need guidance and direction on how to deal with my husband. Also he takes a medication for his seizures that makes him aggressive and he yells at me, I know this is not him, but it can be very hurtful and I cry alot. I would like to retire, but at the moment I cannot, I really do not have any help from anyone.  My children are busy with there lives.

 

5 Replies
  • Caryn
    Caryn, July 25,  2019  12:32pm EST

    Dear Queenbeem -

    I wish I could reach through the internet and give you a hug. I absolutely can relate to your situation. In the three years since my husband’s stroke, I have felt and experienced much of what you describe. Some times, the patience wears SOOO thin, and my response surprises even me. Sometimes, my husband behaves in ways that I have never seen in our 25 years together and in my frustration, I fail to see how frustrating this must be for him. I have cried enough tears for a lifetime. 

    I cannot give you any advise as I am still learning the ropes myself ——Everyday is a learning —— but please know that you are not alone. Although every stroke case is individual, there are lots of similarities in regards to how our lives are impacted. Every day I pray for patience. I pray for compassion, that I might be able to understand what my husband is going through, and I know God will not give us more than we can handle.

    When I began this journey, I found a stroke awareness T-shirt online that says, “We don’t know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have.”  On my really challenging days, I put on my T-shirt and draw strength from knowing that God, in his infinite wisdom, built me out of stronger mettle than even I realize. 

    Hang in there Queenbeem. You are strong and you are your husband’s saving grace. If your husband could access his pre-stroke mind, I know that he would tell you he loves you, that he appreciates your dedication, and is so thankful that you are by his side, caring for him, taking on all the responsibilities (household, medical, financial.....) that were previously shared by the two of you. 

    I hope you can feel a GIANT ciber hug!! 🧸

  • AHAASAKatie
    AHAASAKatie, July 26,  2019  11:19am EST

    Thank you for sharing this! You are not alone, many of our members are walking your path and I know it is hard. Please come often and share as much and/or as little as you need. Best Katie

  • Kbmc12
    Kbmc12, July 30,  2019  1:40pm EST

    Queenbeem,

    I’m so sorry to hear all that you’ve been dealing with.  I can only imagine how hard your husband’s recovery has been on you.

    My husband had two strokes in April and while we have much to be thankful for, his recovery has been very challenging.  He is quick to anger and gets irritated easily.  This causes all sorts of unnecessary drama and stress in our lives. Sometimes, I feel like I can’t win when all I’m trying to do is help.

    I know there are so many caregivers dealing with similar situations.  Stay strong and I will try to do the same!

  • Kaybay19
    Kaybay19, August 2,  2019  4:26pm EST

    This is for all the caregivers out there, You are STRONG, you are doing an AMAZING job, you are LOVED even if you don’t feel it right now!! I don’t know why we are all going through these awful, hard, seemingly impossible times right now but one day we will know and will understand. Until that day, trust in your God to get you through, never stop praying and cut yourself some slack, most people will never know what we caregivers have to deal with but God sees all, He will comfort and guide your every step! May God Bless you all💜💜💜

  • queenbeem
    queenbeem, August 6,  2019  10:28am EST

    Thank you all for your wonderful support, I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart it means alot to me that I'm not the only one going throught this. You guys keep praying and know that God hears our cries for help.

    Be Strong, be Courageous. I will continue to visit this wonderful forum with so many wonderful people!

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