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Nirva, January 6,  2021  4:49am EST

Active again

My mom had a stroke two years ago at 59. She had difficulty walking and she is not legally blind. After my mother's stroke her doctor informed me that my mom suffers from early onset dementia. My husband and I have been taking care of my mom, we don't get support from anyone from the family. Once in a while I get a phone call from her siblings letting me know I'm doing a good job taking care of her. My mom used to be a bus driver of 25 years now she doesn't even want to leave the house for a walk. I try to get her to be more active but she doesn't want to do anything besides talking on the phone. She calms that help her deal with her new life but it doesn't help her physically. My mom keep saying once she gets better she will move back home to her own home but unless I give her meds she doesn't remember or just doesn't take it. I have three kids the youngest  is only two weeks old. My mom memory is still intact for now but I want her to be more active to help workout out her mind. Since the stroke she has trouble sleep at night so she's like a teenager up all night and sleep most of the day. I'm 34 years old and to be honest I didn't think my life was going to turn out this way. My husband and I can't go on date anymore. Our day consists of raising four kids, at time my mom is worst than the kids. At least when I tell the kids they have to eat they eat. My mom fight me about everything. I have to convince her to workout. At time I have to convince her to eat three meals. She wake up so late in the day that it's time for lunch. Anytime I wake her up her excuse is I went to bed late, I'm retired why do I have to be up so early. I have an older brother but he left all the responsibilities to my husband and I. If it want for my husband helping out I think I would have been done however it puts pressure on both of us. My mom want to be treated like an adult but she doesn't act like one. 

2 Replies
  • AHAModerator
    AHAModerator, January 6,  2021  9:29am EST

    Good morning,

    I'm sorry you're going through a tough time with your mother after her stroke. Your mother is lucky to have you as support. It's common for a stroke to make every day activities challenging. I'd like to share these Tips For Daily Living after a stroke that you may find useful. This library includes tips and ideas from stroke survivors, caregivers and healthcare professionals all over the country who’ve created or discovered adaptive and often innovative ways to get things done! Here are some additional resources on Life After Stroke

    Please continue to update us on how your mother is doing, and know that you are not alone in this. 

    Best Wishes,

    The AHA Team 


  • JamesPL
    JamesPL, January 10,  2021  9:44am EST

    I am so sorry about the difficulties you are having with this. Trying to get her to get out of the house and walk is a good idea. It's unfortunate that she seems disintrested. Perhaps there are other things she might be more interested in doing to help her get out more. Could you get her involved in some type of class or volunteering on occasion? If she could find something that holds her interest, she might be more apt to do it. 

    I wish you all the best!


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