Allison Durant - Weddings Are GOOD For The Heart!
Allison had a loving boyfriend, a new job and her whole life ahead of her when she was diagnosed with cardiac sarcoidosis, a rare inflammatory disease that causes granular clumps of cells similar to scar tissue to form and can severely affect heart function. Four years later, she has a pacemaker/defibrillator in her chest, was recently wed, several job promotions behind her, and her whole life ahead of her. Read more on her blog at WiredHeart.org
Well our wedding is over- I thought life would slow down a bit after the wedding but that hasn’t been the case! I’ve been wanting to write this post for weeks now, but I just haven’t had two minutes to myself to sit down and share everything that has been going on. I guess that’s a good thing because it means I haven’t been sick. Normally, I write my blogs on days when I’m not feeling so hot. It’s my time where I can finally relax and get my thoughts out. But overall I’ve been feeling great. I still may be on a slight high from our wedding.
Our wedding day was perfect. I know everyone probably says that, but it truly was. The weather was beautiful, 80 degrees and sunny, and everything went according to plan. Everyone kept telling me that normally one thing goes wrong on the wedding day and to not sweat it. Honestly, nothing went wrong! (at least not that we knew about). I was so excited for everything about our wedding, but I was also very, very scared. My heart has a way of knowing when something is really important to me and then acting up at the worst times.
Going into the wedding (even before the wedding day) I had so many fears. How am I going to add planning a wedding on top of everything else I’m doing? When am I going to have time to do this? I’m normally exhausted after work and on the weekends. How are we going to pay for it on top of all of the medical bills? Will my dress be too heavy? Will it be too hot to get married outside? What if I don’t feel good on the wedding day? What if my body puffs up from the prednisone? What if my pacemaker shocks me while I’m standing at the altar because my heart will be beating out of my chest? What if the flowers don’t look good?!? As if getting married isn’t stressful enough (even though it’s not supposed to be- it is. I don’t care what anyone says!) I had an entire new layer of stressors to add on top of everything.
All I can say is thank gosh for my great support system. My mom was my saving grace with the wedding. To say she helped with 100% of the wedding is an understatement. My family, my husband, and of course our bridal party made everything so easy. 9 months prior to our wedding, I had to take a medical leave from work for almost 3 months while my body went through some crazy side effects of sarcoidosis. This definitely did not make wedding planning any easier. I really had to rely on Michael and my family for help. I also did 99% of the wedding planning from behind my laptop screen while lying on the couch. Not how I envisioned it, but I had to adapt. My life definitely is not how I envisioned it, so I’m used to learning to adapt! And if we’re being honest, who wouldn’t want to plan their wedding from their cough in their PJs?!? Even if I wasn’t sick, I might have still planned it the same way!
When it came time for the wedding, I think the most important thing I could have done was pre-plan and prepare for the day itself. I made sure I got a good night’s sleep the night prior. I drank plenty of water and limited my alcohol to a mimosa at breakfast and a small glass of champs prior to the ceremony (that part was hard, I wanted more but I restrained ). I also made sure I took all my medication and had plenty of food to eat. I stayed in the air conditioning until I needed to go outside. All minor things, but I think they really made a difference. If I would have forgotten any of those steps, I definitely could have spiked my heart rate from being dehydrated or overheated. We also had a bridal attendant that came with our wedding package and she was fantastic- anything we needed she was right there. She was always behind me with a glass of water or alcohol for whichever I needed at the moment!
Michael and I did a first look before the ceremony and we were so happy we did that. I was originally against it because I didn’t want him to see me before the wedding. However it completely got rid of all of the jitters, and we got to share a more private moment just the two of us. If we wouldn’t have done the first look, my heart definitely would have been beating out of my chest prior to the ceremony!
I have to say though, when I just let go of all of the stressors and just let everything be, is when I finally realized that nothing else mattered besides the marriage itself. I’m really lucky to have found someone who I met before my health problems, stayed with me through the worst of them, and then chose to stay with me for the rest of my life.
I also realized that since I was so caught up with all of the excitement of the wedding, that I was too busy to be sick. I think all of the happy stress was actually good for me. Now don’t get me wrong, I did have days where I felt exhausted. But overall, I felt really good- and I’ve continued to feel good. I’ve noticed that if I keep myself preoccupied with things other than my health, that I tend to not think about it as much. Most days I actually feel- dare I say- normal?!? Now what to preoccupy myself with next….
TELL US: Have you had a major life event since your diagnosis? How did it change your experience?
Well our wedding is over- I thought life would slow down a bit after the wedding but that hasn’t been the case! I’ve been wanting to write this post for weeks now, but I just haven’t had two minutes to myself to sit down and share everything that has been going on. I guess that’s a good thing because it means I haven’t been sick. Normally, I write my blogs on days when I’m not feeling so hot. It’s my time where I can finally relax and get my thoughts out. But overall I’ve been feeling great. I still may be on a slight high from our wedding.
Our wedding day was perfect. I know everyone probably says that, but it truly was. The weather was beautiful, 80 degrees and sunny, and everything went according to plan. Everyone kept telling me that normally one thing goes wrong on the wedding day and to not sweat it. Honestly, nothing went wrong! (at least not that we knew about). I was so excited for everything about our wedding, but I was also very, very scared. My heart has a way of knowing when something is really important to me and then acting up at the worst times.
Going into the wedding (even before the wedding day) I had so many fears. How am I going to add planning a wedding on top of everything else I’m doing? When am I going to have time to do this? I’m normally exhausted after work and on the weekends. How are we going to pay for it on top of all of the medical bills? Will my dress be too heavy? Will it be too hot to get married outside? What if I don’t feel good on the wedding day? What if my body puffs up from the prednisone? What if my pacemaker shocks me while I’m standing at the altar because my heart will be beating out of my chest? What if the flowers don’t look good?!? As if getting married isn’t stressful enough (even though it’s not supposed to be- it is. I don’t care what anyone says!) I had an entire new layer of stressors to add on top of everything.
All I can say is thank gosh for my great support system. My mom was my saving grace with the wedding. To say she helped with 100% of the wedding is an understatement. My family, my husband, and of course our bridal party made everything so easy. 9 months prior to our wedding, I had to take a medical leave from work for almost 3 months while my body went through some crazy side effects of sarcoidosis. This definitely did not make wedding planning any easier. I really had to rely on Michael and my family for help. I also did 99% of the wedding planning from behind my laptop screen while lying on the couch. Not how I envisioned it, but I had to adapt. My life definitely is not how I envisioned it, so I’m used to learning to adapt! And if we’re being honest, who wouldn’t want to plan their wedding from their cough in their PJs?!? Even if I wasn’t sick, I might have still planned it the same way!
When it came time for the wedding, I think the most important thing I could have done was pre-plan and prepare for the day itself. I made sure I got a good night’s sleep the night prior. I drank plenty of water and limited my alcohol to a mimosa at breakfast and a small glass of champs prior to the ceremony (that part was hard, I wanted more but I restrained ). I also made sure I took all my medication and had plenty of food to eat. I stayed in the air conditioning until I needed to go outside. All minor things, but I think they really made a difference. If I would have forgotten any of those steps, I definitely could have spiked my heart rate from being dehydrated or overheated. We also had a bridal attendant that came with our wedding package and she was fantastic- anything we needed she was right there. She was always behind me with a glass of water or alcohol for whichever I needed at the moment!
Michael and I did a first look before the ceremony and we were so happy we did that. I was originally against it because I didn’t want him to see me before the wedding. However it completely got rid of all of the jitters, and we got to share a more private moment just the two of us. If we wouldn’t have done the first look, my heart definitely would have been beating out of my chest prior to the ceremony!
I have to say though, when I just let go of all of the stressors and just let everything be, is when I finally realized that nothing else mattered besides the marriage itself. I’m really lucky to have found someone who I met before my health problems, stayed with me through the worst of them, and then chose to stay with me for the rest of my life.
I also realized that since I was so caught up with all of the excitement of the wedding, that I was too busy to be sick. I think all of the happy stress was actually good for me. Now don’t get me wrong, I did have days where I felt exhausted. But overall, I felt really good- and I’ve continued to feel good. I’ve noticed that if I keep myself preoccupied with things other than my health, that I tend to not think about it as much. Most days I actually feel- dare I say- normal?!? Now what to preoccupy myself with next….
TELL US: Have you had a major life event since your diagnosis? How did it change your experience?
